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Oct 19, 2007

Hi, I am a neg male and my parter is a poz female. My question is: How safe am i really?

I am in good health and so is she, however she refuses to get her CD4 and viral loads checked and this concerns me. We always use condoms and are aware of any deep cuts on fingers and in the mouth.

Dispite a lot of research and having talked to 2 doctors I still have anxiety which is not good for the relationship.

How sucessful are serodiscordant couples in keeping their status and what are expected transmission rates? Please bear in mind that their is no anal sex, only vaginal sex, felatio(no condom), cunnilingus(no mouth dam) and mutual masturbation.

How are the chances of transmission raised by the amount of protected sex a couple has?

Response from Dr. Frascino


Your HIV-positive partner refuses to get her CD4 counts and viral loads monitored? That's extremely worrisome. Why? I would certainly try to convince her that she's courting disaster. HIV left untreated will eventually erode her immune system to the point she will develop an opportunistic malignancy or infection. Waiting until that happens to address her HIV disease may well seal her coffin very prematurely.

As for being a magnetic couple, I would suggest you both review the information in the archives of this forum related to magnetic couples, HIV sexual transmission and safer sexual techniques. In addition review the information on safer sex methods on the HIV InSite Web site that can be accessed at: (SAFER SEX METHODS).

You and your partner will need to decide on exactly how much risk you are willing to accept based on what is known scientifically about HIV transmission related to various sexual acts and what your individual comfort levels are.

Can an HIV-negative half of a magnetic couple remain HIV negative and still have a passionate and satisfying sexual relationship with their poz partner? Yep! From personal experience I can tell you that this is indeed possible. You'll read more about this in the archives as well. Have a look!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

me and my gf after 7 months
Can't take this hell anymore

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