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resubmitted from fatigue and anemia forum-I apologize
Oct 14, 2007

Dr. Bob: I am so used to getting the "error" message when I post a question that I seriously thought I was going to get it again and rushed to ask my question. I want to repost and ask my question in more detail. As you know from reading my original question, I was out with a friend and was drunk. I am female. Non drug user. I blacked out and can't remember a bit of time. I am worried that I might have been taken advantage of. I have no proof and my friend did drive me from the bar, so I didn't end up going home with anyone. I did have an incident a year ago which scared me and perhaps is why I am still hung up on this. I wondered if you thought I should test because of this. I am negative as of a test taken in June of this year. Dating the same person long term and non drug user/do not share needles. Your opinion would be deeply appreciated. I am afraid to have unprotected sex with my boyfriend and am afraid to be happy. Thank you for your time Dr. Bob. You are amazing and your strength inspires us all.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Certainly no apology needed! I just can't answer "Am I Infected" type of questions in a forum dedicated to folks who are already confirmed to be HIV positive. HIV-infected folks rightly get quite annoyed with all the WWs clogging up their forum when we have a Safe Sex/HIV Prevention forum dedicated to exactly those types of concerns. Speaking of which, let's turn to your concerns!

Your HIV risk sounds negligible to me. Although obviously if you have no idea what happened when you blacked out, I certainly have no way of knowing either. As always, if you are concerned or feel you've placed yourself at risk for HIV, a simple three-month rapid HIV test will give you a definitive answer in as few as 20 minutes.

I should make a few other comments:

1. Drinking to the point you black out is worrisome. You may well need help for an alcohol abuse problem if this has occurred on other occasions.

2. "I am afraid to have unprotected sex with my boyfriend . . . ." Afraid or not I think it's an excellent idea to avoid unprotected sex with everyone, including boyfriends! Latex condoms will provide you with protection against STDs and unwanted pregnancy. You should insist on them!

3. Being "afraid to be happy" is not normal. Considering you have longstanding HIV fears and possible alcohol abuse issues and are "afraid to be happy," I think you should see a therapist. He/she could help you address all these issues, which most likely are interrelated.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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