WOO-HOO -THANKS!!!!- WOO-HOO
Oct 9, 2007
Just Final Thanks. Remember Me??? Unusual Transmission/Failed Suicide/Don't Hate?
My Symptoms Were Virologic....NOT HIV, BUT Hepatitis B. My HbsAg Was Positive. I Was 1000% Convinced I Had Hiv From My Lymphadenopathy. You Were Right. Thanks for Helping a Total Stranger Out the Last 6 Months. Helped me Get over My Irrational HIV Fears, and Find The Real Cause. I am 100% Feeling Better, Especially Now I Know I Wasnt Just Imagining All My Symptoms. I Will Never Forget It. To Make a Change......I'm Sending YOU GOOD KARMA!!!!!!!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Congratulations! (I won't say "told ya so!") I hope you'll use your experience to "pay it forward." By that I mean help move the entire agenda of HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention forward. That means personally talking to your friends, relatives and acquaintances and also politically by voting Republicans out of office, insisting on science-based sex education in our schools, etc.
Thankyou Aug 18, 2007
Re: Failed Suicide/Question. No Need to Post/Just Read.
Ok, Dr Frascino, Well, Its What I wanted to Hear (You may not think so) Despite the Malaise and Ongoing Symptoms. I Will Take Your Word For it, Even Though My Body Dosent Seem to.
I Worry Because More Persistant little painless White Spots Have Appeared Tonight and My Neck Gland Pain Has Woken Me up. >3 months Now. So was hard to believe it's a garden variety virus with the timing.
I appreciate your Kind/To the Point, Reply, Time is Precious. But Note,
1) I DO Have Painful Lymph Glands- You Can even SEE Neck One, It's Big, >1cm, It Kills. Little White Spots That Keep Coming Up In My Mouth..1 month now. Psychosomatic? Honestly Don't See How, Hope So.
(Everything Else Can Be Related to Stress, Even the Gum Colour/Salt Craving-/Stress/ACTH/Cortisol) YES, I Know all That, I'm Not a Layman.
2) Exposure Wasnt Non-Existant, There Was a LOT of Blood, Not a Speck, Thats why I was Worried.(I Mean Fully Covered Both Sides of Pillow) Looked Intentional, not Like a Nose Bleed/Menstration etc. It Had Been Hidden Under a Made 2nd Bed. It Was Suspicious. Masturbation Means Urethral Contact. I Didn't Realise Till Next Day, I was Drunk and It Was Dark. I'm Guessing If I Had Said Hiv Blood Covered Sex Toy, or Unprotected Sex with a HIV+ Man, My Symptoms Wouldn't Be Taken So Lightly by Anyone? This is Not a Typical I Touched a Public Toilet Seat Situation Iv Read So Many Times Here, That's why I was Troubled. I know HIV is Very Very Difficult to Catch (I Do Have a Medical Based Degree)
3) I Know It Wasnt 'Honourable' It Wasnt Attempted. It is a Sad But TRUE Story, I Only Hope 1 Milion% you are Correct. Selfish- YES. I Had Other Reasons. Thats for the Psychiatrist, I wanted a Medical Analysis HIV opinion Regarding Profound Fatigue, White Spots/Purple Blotches/ Lymph Gland Swellings and Timings. I am NOT A HIV EXPERT LIKE YOU. Just doing My Best to Discover Why I'm Getting Ill. I'm Thinking About Others. Take For Example, My Accident, Just Realised, My Blood Went Everywhere, Future Wife/Kids Would They Get it..etc. So you See I'm Not Really a Selfish Bastard. I Hope The 12 People who Saved My Life, who Came in Contact with the Blood Don't Get Non-Specific Viral Illness' . Re: Accident, It's a Private Matter, Not Something I'm Advertising. You Seem Like a Honest Soul, So I Wanted to Give The Full Details, to Give a Clear Picture How Seriously I Take this. I Hope the STUPID thing I did Didn't Cloud your Clinical Judgement/Assesment.
3) I WILL Take Your Advice, Forget About HIV, No Matter What Symptoms I Get From Now on. I will Let the Dr's Diagnose Me from Now On and Agree With Whatever They say, I am not even going to Mention HIV. YOU ARE THE EXPERT. I Now Feel I have Made Every Attempt to Make Sure. Obviously of Course I DONT WANT HIV, who Would? I Have MUCH Better Things to Do. I want to Get Married, Have Kids, Enjoy Music, See the World. YES I'd Rather most definately Be Seen by a Psychiatrist Than a HIV Specialist.
Thanks for Taking The Time to Respond. I DO Appreciate it. If I Do ever, Find Out the Cause, I will Write Back, But No Offense, I don't Really Want to Come Back Here. I'm Off to Take Some Painkillers for My Neck Gland and Off to Bed, Its Bloody 6am. Hopefully Your Karma and Mine Will Make Me Well Soon.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You're welcome. My assessment and advice about your risk, symptoms, suicide attempt and what you need to do to ultimately get well remains completely unchanged. By the way, the lymphadenopathy (swollen lymph glands) associated with HIV/AIDS are generally painless.
Failed Suicide/Negative or Positive? If U Answer One, Answer Me PLEASE! Aug 17, 2007
Sexual Exposure to Very Suspect Blood in UAE (Dr's Tell Me Low to Non-Existant Risk) Because it Was Dried out, But I Believe Because It Was In Contact with Urethral Membrane for Several Hours, and foreskin. Next Day I Saw Blood on Penis.
Felt Malaise, Mild Flu Like Symptoms, Mainly Very Dry Cough, Keeping Me up.
Felt Symptoms Going Except Cough, Tonsils Quite Red, Cough Still There, Given Pholcodine
Had to Go to a Funeral, Very Upset and Stressed and Obviously Stressed Regarding Blood Exposure.
Sore Throat and Cough Back, Given Amoxicillin for a Week. No Difference.
Felt ill, Temperature, Malaise, but Cough Going Slowly.
Tonsils Still Enlarged, Dry Cough Recoccuring, But Feeling a Bit Better.
3 May, Cough Nearly Gone, Tonsils Red and Inflamed, but Not Infected bacterially.
11th May Went to Rome, Italy, Great Time, Felt Fine Except for Low Mood (Relationship Issues) and Dry Throat.
14th May Got Coryza Symptoms, in Italy, Runny Nose, Sneezing, So Didnt Worry, Until Sharp Pain in Collar Bone Lymph Nodes. Tonsils Up again, Cough Back, Pharyngitis.
16th May Given Penicillin in UK for 1 week.
22nd May More Pain in Glands in Collar, HIV Anxiety and Depression Setting in. Tonsils Stil Look Red, but Cough Going.
25th May Transient Oral Purple Spots, Like pinprick Bleeds on Buccal Mucosa. Suffer Acute Fatigue, But Guessing due to Anxiety.
1st June Nearly Collapse with Fatigue at Work, Depression, Malaise, Cervical Gland Gets Very Big, NEVER had Gland Swollen Before This. Anxiety Increases, Go to See HIV specialist
2nd June Specialist Does Rapid Test, 11 Week Test, Negative, Say i'm Just Worrying for Nothing, Agree With Gland Swelling, Suggests Haemophilus, Given Doxycycline, Anti-inflamatories, Felt Better except for Hurting Nodes.
13th June Not Feeling Better, On/Off Node Pain, Oral spots Worrying Me, Read theBody, Worry About Window Periods. Go to Another HIV Specialist. Rapid Test at 13 weeks, Negative and DNA PCR, Negative, 3 days Later. Felt Safe. Dr Assures Me, 3 month Trumps Symptoms. I'm Being Irrational and Obsessive, I Really Want to Agree.
18th June Decide to Agree with Dr's, but Feel Terrible, go To GP to Look for Other Causes, Does ESR/CBC/WBC/Mono/Haemophilus Swab All Negative and OK. Gland Hurts again. Oral Blood Spot goes, Dry Mouth, Been 100 Days Now, Felt Fed up, Go to Canada for Relaxation.
24 June, 4 More Purple Spots in Mouth, Go to Dentist, He Said if it its Transient, Don't Worry See Dr!
27th June I'm Trying Best to Agree with 4 Dr's Including yourself, I'm Irrational, It's 3.5months, Do UK equivalent of Orasure, Negative. Guessing Hey All the Dr's are Right!!!!!!!
4th July 2 Patches of Tiny Whit Spots Appear in Cheeks, Tonsils STILL red, Mouth Ulcer, EXTREME fatigue and Gums Start Discolouring, NOT linear Red Band, but More Like Black/Brown. Lose Hearing in One Ear!!!!!!! But No High Temperature, Rhinitis etc, Just Gland Pain, Oral Legions/ Sheer Fatigue and Bad Gums.
4 Weeks of HELL ........Extreme Fatigue, Depression, Drank Far too Much Alcohol, Because Obviously This is It. Another gland Swells up in Armpit and Neck Ones too, Coinciding With Fatigue. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY. Another Oral Ulcer and Spot Appears.
23rd July Feelings of Neuropathy Mild Morning Sweat and Nausea, But I'm Guessing Anxiety Rather Than HIV. See Small Spots on Trunk, but they Dont Look like ARS, Plus Timings Wrong. All the Dr's Can't Be Wrong.
1st August Due to Depression/Symptoms etc and Everyone Thinking I'm Nuts, Decide Suicide is the only Option. Sorry, But It Was Extremely Calculated. Have a Car Accident. By Sheer Miracle I survive 150mph Crash, with only a small Spinal Fracture. Im Walking Within 4 days. I am Ashamed to have Survived, Had to Tell Close Relatives, The Main Reason, I Must Have HIV, and I May Infect Someone I was in Love with in the Future, Loneliness if Indeed I am Positive, and after 4 weeks of DEBILITATING fatigue, sleeping 15 Hours a day, It Was an Option For Me. Honestly Didnt Want to Be a Burden, Family Think I was Selfish, But they Dont Understand, This was not a Cry for Help, I thought I was Doing the Honorable Thing. Obviously, I Know You Feelings on the Subject, If you Do Reply, Well Yep You Would'nt be There to Reply.
8th August Family Take me to Original Hiv Specialist, Because They Are Worried i'll do Something Silly, He Refused Because He Said the White Patches and Glands are due to Some Other Virus, Refused to Test, and Stuck By Original 3 month Result. I really Trust and Respect this guy, So I feel Lost. Iv Never Been Ill, Now It Cant All Be Coincidence? He Even Said, do I hear Voices? OMG, Well I cant blame him, after What I did, But I'm Definately not Schizo, I Just want an Answer.
10th August Did a Oral Swab, 5 Months 1 week, Came back NEGATIVE, What......HELLO, I just Staked my Effin Life on the Fact I am Positive. Gums still Brown/Red, Tried Chlorhexidine, Get Black Hairy Tongue, Typical.
13th August Back to Hospital, Due to Continued Fatigue, Sleeping in day and all night, and Review. They Did usual ESR/lymph/wbc/Heam, etc All Normal. Now I Know HIV Cant Show on these. But Gp Says It Would Have, So They Wont Do PCR/CD4, At least It would Make me Happier, But they Want to Give Me Antidepressants, Said its Non-Specific Virus, So I WILL NEVER GET AN ANSWER!! But I already Feel Fatigue, I dont Want to be Drugged up, Plus, I Don't Feel Depressed. Since the Accident, the Depression and Fatigue has Got Better. I am Worried I may be in Clinical Latency, I dont want PCP/AIDS in 3-5 years Time, Thats Why I want to Know.
They Are Refering me to Another Dr, Next Week. To See if they Can Find the Cause. I am Confused...By 5 months Something Should Show up. Ok its Not 6 months. I KNOW symptoms arnt reliable, Test trump... But Paranoia Has Set in, Re: Tests, Strains...
ALL the Dr's Agree, It's Viral, My Family Think I'm Stupid for Thinking of HIV, What do I do.
15th August It's Coming up to 6 months Anyway, I Have another Pain under chin, Go to Dentist to Rule Out Infection, ANUG... Ask Re: Gum Problem. My GP Sent Me There. Dentist Says Nothing, Probably Viral or Stress, .......He said It was Probably Brown Before, I didnt notice!! Lol .Said See a Dr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO, I Saw my Gums Go Brown Acutely while I was In Bed for a Month. White spots NORMAL, What? Not in Me. Can you See Why I would Want to Kill Myself Now? I'm starting to Believe I'm Crazy.
So, I Waiting to See this Acute, General Dr, I can Guess What He's Going to Find.......Nothing..Probably Pass the buck, Usual I'll Never Know, Gazillions of Viruses, blah blah, I would Except this Fact If it wasnt for the Sequence of Events, and Previously Very Active/ Fit 29 yrs old.
I Can't See the Point of HIV Testing, If its Negative at 5 months 1 week, 6 months Wont Make a Difference. I Should Be Woo-Hooing Apparently.
If Youve Read My Totally Honest Story, Can see why I'm Distressed. My Fatigue is Declining, Oral Symptoms Still there, ulcers gone, and tonsils shrunk after 4 months. Still Got Pain in One node in Neck, ON/OFF. My Family Want to Take me to another HIV specialist if the Acute Dr Cant Find Anything, But to Be honest I don't Even Want to go. I am FED UP. I'm Wasting Money I dont Have, May aswell Donate it. I'm Not Getting Any Answers from the Medics. I'm Starting to Think I'd Rather Continue Feeling ill and Keep My Mouth Shut instead of being Ostracised by Doctors who Give Conflicting Information. If I get more ill in the Future, Noone Can Say I Didnt Try my Best.
Now, Dr.Bob Since You Have HIV, Are Surviving, Well and an Expert. What do You Suggest. I Know you Cant Diagnose over the Internet. the Dr'd Cant Diagnose me in PERSON!!! Your gonna Say I Need Couselling for My Unwarranted and Irrational Fears, and Get Help for a Disease I cant Possibly Have. I just Just Want ONE person in the World to Understand and Believe WHY Iv been Anxious.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Your sad story is not unlike many I've seen over the years. (Some are in the archives of this forum. Have a look!) You had a nonexistent HIV exposure followed by nonspecific "symptoms." This led to anxiety and depression, which produced additional symptoms. You took countless and totally unwarranted HIV tests and saw multiple doctors, dentists and HIV specialists. The tests were negative and the multiple physicians could find no physical cause for your ailments. Your psychiatric illness is so severe you attempted suicide, feeling you were "doing the honorable thing." (Please note suicide is anything but honorable.) Your "symptoms" persist, as does your perseveration on a disease that you do not have. (Overwhelming evidence exists to support your not having HIV.)
My advice is simple:
1. HIV is not your problem. Stop testing.
2. You need the help of a psychiatrist. Your symptoms are psychosomatic.
I would suggest you bring a copy of this post and my response to your first visit and show it to the psychiatrist. It will help focus your therapy.
I do "understand and believe why you have been anxious." I also understand and know you don't have HIV. Your problem is psychiatric, not virologic.
Unusual transmission pt2 Jun 4, 2007
Update: Dear Dr. Bob, Had the Rapid Test Core Duo Using Blood from Arm at Day 80. I just could Not Wait 4-9 more days. The Stress would Have Killed Me. My enlarged tonsils (5 weeks) and now 2 swollen Lymph nodes in my neck, Scared the Hell outta Me. (I have Been Prescibed Doxycycline for Infection after my 3 colds.) I Just want to say to anyone, I was so Convinced I had Contracted Hiv, Even Planned What I was Going to Do etc. I Couldnt Believe it..Ppl Please Dont Spend Hours trying to Diagnose Symptoms, Statistics etc. Get a test. However This Incident Has Changed My Life. I Didnt get a Answer in Time, But I wish to Donate Anyway. Feel Free to Post My Unusual Experience if You think It'll Help Anyone. Thanks!!!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Remember "symptoms" do not equal HIV disease! In fact symptoms are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not infected! Thanks for your donation (www.concertedeffort.org).
Be well. Stay well.
Unusual Transmission pt4, Return of the Jedi Jun 21, 2007
Dear Dr. Bob, Update:
I Find Your Site Very Reassuring,...@92 days Okay, DNA PCR Was Negative, (I know, expensive/Wasteful (maybe) but I seem to be Experiencing "symptoms" So I thought Hey I'm -ve for Antibodies, 3 months til 6 months is up, lets look for Viruses!) Idiot? Dunno. Like Everyone else Here, I Guess I'm Just Worried About Giving Hiv to Anyone Else, I couldn't live with the Thought I'd wreck Someones Life. I wish the Person Who left their Blood Lying Around Thought of That!!!
London: They Used Abbott Determine 1/2 Point of Care Test..15 later, Negative at 13 Weeks.
Feel Bit Better for 1 day,(still waiting for pcr result at that time) But 3 Day after, I Have Had another Purple Spot in Throat,(purpura/petechiae whatever) WTF!!!! Why Me, I'm Thinking. lasting 1 day, and Some Stubborn Whitish Spots at Back of throat and Purple sore Behind Wisdom tooth STILL there. Tonsils Clear, but Still Large (over 7 weeks now) despite anti-inflammatories/Ibuprofen). Cervical/collar Nodes gave me a little pain again, feel drowsy + very Weak and weird.
Okay, After 3 months, I am Starting to Believe MAYBE I Dont Have Hiv. I can Be OCD, It's Usually Been a help in My Life Actual. So Start thinking About Virus Mutations/Damaged Hiv Virus take longer/Gene Therapy/Immunology undetectable Viruses, titres, Statistics, Who wouldnt? etc Blah Blah.. I Don't actually Care Anymore, I reckon Anxiety + PTSD + OCD + Continual Viral tonsillitis is Causing My Problem, It Has to Be? N'est-ce pas?
The Gp's/Dr's in the UK are Useless, All Gave me Conflicting Info, I know More About Hiv from thebody now than they Do, It's becoming a Joke!! May aswell Join Your Team!
Anyway, So, I Had Contact With (Abeit Dried) BLOOD, on Penal Mucosal Membrane >4 hours.....Since then 3 very mild colds" Iv Had Swollen Nodes, recurring Pharyngitis, 2 Purple spots in Mouth, Negative Mono test, Extreme Fatigue, Constantly enlarged tonsils....(all Medically Confirmed, Not Me talking) Still Negative. To Worried Wells, I think Anxiety + Travel (Recirculated air on planes)/New cold strains/exhaustion + alcohol on Holiday/indiscretion = Reason Why many people Seem to Get ARS Symptoms While Being Negative? My theory anyway. (Hopefully!)
Anxiety Increases Compulsive Disorder/Depression/fatigue. I know all that, (Health Worker/Mensa Member), And Even I Couldnt Believe The Negative Results at 3 months. I'm Supposed to be a Scientist. Iv Never Prayed More. Dan Brown, Eat yer heart Our. Obviously Someone switched Samples, Faulty Kits, Unknown Antigens/Weak Hiv Strain, Slow Converter blah blah blah...lol (Can I laugh?) Wow, I am going to Become a Detective.
I Am Negative, Everyone Tells Me, But I Feel SOOOO Terrible. Still got a Couple of those Cheapy Mirates Test Left, May Aswell Use em', What the Hell Made in China/Non-Fda Approved, if it's Negative i'll Believe it, for about 2 days. If it Positive, well More Tests Because it's Non Approved!! My Arm looks Like a Drug Addicted Sex Workers Now Without The High's and the Sex!! My Sense of Humour is the Only Thing Keeping Me Going.
Dear Dr Bob, If You Collate my Posts together it may help the archives ppl. And If you get time pls Pass me on Some Kind Words, I Need em!! thanks!
UK -Worried, Well(allegedly), But Not quite,..Definately Maybe? x
Response from Dr. Frascino
Collate your posts to help the archive people??? No, I don't think a stream of consciousness of irrational ranting, parts one through four, would be all that helpful. If the readers of this forum want to hear nonsensical ramblings, they can listen to Dubya's explanation for vetoing stem-cell legislation again or listen to the GOP presidential candidates explain that evolution and global warming don't exist, but that Noah's Arc is fact.
Dude, what can I tell you that I haven't already said? You are negative. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. Stop testing. Stop chasing a disease you could not possibly have. You need a psychiatrist to help you confront your unwarranted and irrational HIV fears.
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