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hiv+ and hiv- prevention
Sep 28, 2007

I am falling in love with someone who is hiv positive and i am hiv negative. we are two males. I am thinking about a long term relationship with him but am afraid of getting hiv. sometimes my gums bleed after flossing and i was wondering if i can get hiv by kissing him or sharing a drink? also, what percent chance do you think i will get hiv from having intercourse with a condom? oral sex no condom? or intercourse and condom breaks? please answer!!! Am i crazy to fall in love with someone special who is hiv +??? What do you recomend?? I cant be with someone and be abstinent. please answer 100 % honestly and be specific. Thank you very much. My life is at risk.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Kissing is not considered to be a significant risk for HIV disease. If you have difficulty with bleeding gums, see your dentist. You may need a different type of floss or flossing technique.

Sharing drinks with a poz partner is not a risk for HIV acquisition. Period.

As for the "percent chance" of contracting HIV if you use a condom for sex, it would be essentially nonexistent, assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail.

Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. Exact estimated-risk statistics for your unique situation are obviously not available, because your situation is, well, unique! Overall the transmission risk for oral sex would be low, but circumstances, such as your partner's viral load and viral strain, the severity of your bleeding gums and the possibility of a concurrent STD, would need to be factored into the equation.

What do I recommend? I recommend both you and your partner read through the information in the chapter on magnetic couples (one poz, one neggie), which can be found in the Safer Sex/HIV Prevention forum. Together you will need to decide what level of risk you both are willing to accept, based on what is known about transmission risk and what your individual comfort level is with the risk associated with the various sexual activities. Abstinence is certainly safe, but obviously not a viable option for most normal, healthy, horny adults like me for instance. I can tell you, from personal experience, a healthy, passionate and very satisfying sexual relationship is indeed possible with magnetic coupling. In the archives you will read about my partner (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum) and my magnetic relationship, which is still going (and cuming) strong at 14 years and counting. My personal advice is not to let Mr. Right get away for all the wrong reasons.

Good luck to you both.

Dr. Bob



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