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Sep 26, 2007

Dear Dr.Bob,

The incident I described below happened on Aug. 30, now three weeks later I have headaches, sore throat, fatigue and aches and pains. I think I'm starting to seroconvert and I am freaking out. I'm attached and I am afraid to have sex with my partner. I was bi-curious I guess and now I'm paying the big price. I'm hitting a pretty big wall of depression and I don't know what I am going to do. Please help me I could really use your help or karma and your thoughts.

This is what happened on Aug. 30th. I was with a guy who I met online. To make a long story short we engaged in him fingering me with lube and then he put on a condom, lubed up and proceeded to enter me. I realized that while he was doing this I saw the tube on the bed and he was using hand lotion (he said it was water based) and I quickly moved away. The head of his penis was in me for a few seconds before I jumped. The condom was still intact and there was no cum. But I read your articles on lube and I can't get it out of my head. What are the risks of fingering with hand lotion and the condom episode? I don't know his status (he says he is clean) and I don't know if I should get tested...please I am really freaking out. I just want to put all this behind me and be thankful for what I have, please help me. Thank you and for all the hard work that you do. You are truly the kindest man I know.

Bi Guy

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Bi-Guy,

Your HIV risk is negligible at best. Fingering is not considered an HIV risk, assuming the skin on the finger was intact. The condom experience you describe is also not at all worrisome. You are uncertain if the hand lotion was oil- or water-based; you don't know the HIV status of your top gun and his latex-covered joystick only entered your love canal for "a few seconds." Taken together, this HIV risk would be so remote that it's essentially nonexistent. If you remain worried, get a single HIV test at the three-month mark. I'm very confident the result will be negative. Your anxiety is most likely related to guilt associated with your "bi-curious" experimentation, rather than any real degree of HIV risk. Counseling may help as you explore and confront your sexual-orientation issues.

Good luck, Guy. Continue to play safe, no matter which side of the fence you end up on, and you'll stay well, OK?

Dr. Bob

Ironic? or I being stupid I need your comfort and voice of reason (SWEAT) (HIV BASICS)
increase in HIV infections in NY

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