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My frustrated letter about my 5 unanswered letters just got answered..
Sep 23, 2007

Dear Doc,thank u for your time and sorry for the frustrated letter i sent.Im rephrasing my question as adviced by you. Please read the FULL letter..

Im a 31 year old male,had sex only twice upto now.First time in April 2005,could not climax,blamed it on alchohol but was tense that something was wrong with me.To reassure myself just once as I had plans to get married and wanted to put an end to years of self-doubt,I had sex on Aug 21st 2007. I could not climax again,got frustrated,then the lady said the plastic was the problem.I did not want to come out of there with doubt again after so many years,So I tried without plastic for about 5 minutes--did not climax again--went out and cleaned myself.She did a hand job and french kissed me twice were the only other highlights of the night.(I have been masturbating almost daily for the last 18 years, successfully,i guess its not important to the topic anyway)

My question: 1. What is my risk?I have postponed my wedding plans and my family is very hurt.Havent told anybody the reason. 2. What tests should i take? Should i meet a local doctor and check other things? (I got vaccinated for Hepatitis B in 2005)

3.I feel cheated to know that Ive been tricked to take a risk because of a reason which is unavoidable.Does the fact that I did not climax reduce my risk? (Iam uncircumcised, but have loose foreskin that dosent peel open more than a little even when i inserted in the vagina)

Im in a lot of tension,professionally and personally also this is an important time.Please answer and advice. I read in one of your answers that the vast amount of exposures do not lead to the disease. How far is this true?Thankx a million.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Thanks for rephrasing your question and the apology; however, you apparently missed the part of my response suggesting that you read the archives. Your situation is far from unique and my advice and response to you is exactly the same as it is to others who have placed themselves at risk for STDs, including HIV.

The facts are simple. You chose to have unprotected sex. Consequently you placed yourself at risk. My advice to anyone in this situation is to get a rapid HIV test at the three-month mark. Period. It really is just that simple and straightforward. You can also get an STD screen or be checked for specific STDs, depending on symptoms.

To specifically answer your questions:

1. Risk is risk and since you placed yourself at risk, you need to be tested. The estimated risk statistics for various sexual acts really don't apply to any one specific situation. Each coupling is unique and there are many variables involved in HIV transmission. The estimated per-act risk of unprotected insertive penile-vaginal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 5 per 10,000 exposures. However, this generalized estimated statistic cannot be applied to your unique situation. As for postponing your wedding, I tend to doubt HIV fears are your real reason for doing so. You obviously are having difficulty with sexual dysfunction and anxiety. I would suggest you have these problems evaluated and treated.

2. Rapid HIV test or antibody test at the three-month mark.

3. You have not been cheated nor have you been tricked into taking a risk. It's time you began taking responsibility for your actions and decisions! It's also time you leveled with your fiancée and yourself! (About now you may just be wishing I had chosen to continue to avoid answering your question!!!)

Dr. Bob



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