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Paralyzed With Fear - Yes, Again! -- I'm Gutless to get tested and I hate myself for it!

Sep 13, 2007

Dr. Bob, I'm sorry I am so gutless....I got freaked out again and cannot think straight...over the last 3 weeks I have been suffering from headaches, dizziness, watering eyes, and congestion in my head (30 months post exposure). I have never had allergies before - Is it possible that this could be the first sign of infection and that my immune system is now weaker 30mos out and I am now susceptible to hay fever? You had indicated that the first signs of infection don't typically happen for 7-10yrs...could this be possible....I'm scared shitless, I can't hold a thought in my head...(I hoping your response and me being at my whits end will finally allow me to get tested.)

Thank you Dr. Bob....I will never forget this time in my life and I promise I will make it benefit someone else!!!!!

Paralyzed With Fear - Again! Please Help Dr.Bob.!! Mar 16, 2007 Dr. Bob, I am going to double my donation (only because its a great cause and has had a dramatic impact on my life....just got my bonus and will be donating to several organizations)

I wrote this post below over a yr ago (u had convinced me I was just overreacting - but was still scared shitless) I had another panic attack yesterday because I just read a post talking about oil based lotion affects on the condom and rememebered prior to my inservative anal she had put some oil based lotion on as a lubricant.

I am once again paralyzed with fear...I never got tested because I was so fearful but felt comfortable my risk was low. Please help me Dr. Bob. I remember the condom was intact when I pulled out. How has this changed my situation. What is my risk?

$1,000 Donation Per Answer - Scared Shitless!! Please Answer Dr. Bob!!!! Mar 8, 2006 About a year ago, I engaged in deep kissing, protected vaginal, protected anal, received protected oral after the various intercourse(I don't think the condom failed as far as I could tell as it seemed like it was still on before she started to give me oral(although I let her stupidly in my drunken state take the condom off and finish the blowjob w/o a condom - idiot!!- I know), and finally received about a 2 min rimm job from a high risk girl I had met in a bar that night. About 2-3 days later I noticed a few red indents on my tongue along with some slight whitish areas along the side of my tongue that seem to come and go...then all hell broke loose as I surfed the internet for a likely cause (the rest is history)My symptoms for the next few weeks off an on were as follows: tired, sore muscles, whitish tongue along sides with redish indents along front, headache, a few nights of night sweats and a warm tingling feeling on both thighs particularly when I sit still or lye in bed (still get this today from time to time when lying in bed) but no fever, no swollen glands, no diarea, no nausea, no rashes or spots, no meaningful weight loss or anything else I noticed questions are as follows: (I'm scared out of my mind for your answers as I right this - I'm getting that tingling in my legs again which I hope is not my body giving me a sign the virus is in my body)..1) A year later is it possible the warm tingling feeling in my legs (feels like two hot packs placed above each knee) is a sign the virus is in my body...could it be my body reacting to the virus???- please answer seriously)...2) Am I correct that if the condom failed and I didn't know it my per episode risk (assuming positive girl) would be 13 per 10,000 (6.5+5+.5+.5/10000) and if it didn"t fail it's .5 (oral) + .5 (rim job) or 1 per 10,000) this the right math?...3) if I am infected what signs if any would I have 1 year later- what should I be looking for...I know this tingling in my legs can't be nerves as I get it all the time now and have never experienced it before that night...4)On average, how long after infection do people start seeing signs they have been infected post intital ARS estimate?...5)if I was way over-tired and drinking the night I was a complete idiot would that have weakened my immune system and made me more susceptible...6)Could the whitish sides of my tongue be hairy leukplakia or thrush so soon after infection? it possible?..7)could I get this warm tingling in my legs because its a sign of a virus in my body without getting a fever or swollen lymph nodes...have u ever heard of this before from others infected as a sign? 8)what do you make of the fact that 2 days after my incident my tongue started to show reddish puffy bumps on the side that take the shape of my lower teeth when I stick it out?strange?...9) based on the information provided what do think is my per episode risk (please give me a number out of 10,000 assuming high risk/postive partner) of getting guess??...10)I will treat this as a question for donation purposes - Thank you for being you - you have made such a profound difference in my life and many others as this site has become the world for all of us WWs...I hope I can make half the difference you have made on this earth in my lifetime - I'm certainly going to give it everything I have! You r an unbeleivable example of leadership!! Thank you! - Best Regards, Scared out my mind!!

Response from Dr. Frascino


Kissing is not considered a significant HIV risk. Protected sex is protected if the latex condom is used properly and does not fail. There have been no documented cases of HIV transmission from rimming. That narrows your potential risk down to unprotected insertive oral sex. This carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. Your symptoms are not worrisome for HIV ARS or disease. Now on to your specific questions:

1. No. this is more consistent with anxiety.

2. No. Statistical risk estimates cannot be merely added together. The best I can say here is that your overall risk is extremely minimal.

3. Completely variable. Most likely, none.

4. 7 to 10 years.

5. Nope.

6. Extremely, extremely doubtful. They are most likely completely normal.

7. Nope.

8. Most likely this is due to the fact you only started worrying about and intently studying your tongue after your sex-capade. It certainly is not HIV related. (Way too early!)

9. Assuming your partner is confirmed HIV positive (not just high risk), your risk would be 0.5 per 10,000 exposures.

10. Thanks!

I see no reason for you to be even mildly worried, let alone scared out of your mind; however, if indeed you are worried, why not just get a rapid HIV test? You'll have your definitive result in 20 minutes and it's a lot cheaper than the $1000 per answer! Also, please note my advice here is free and available to all. Donations to my foundation ( should be made only in the spirit of generosity, compassion and a desire to help those in need.

Stay well. (Yes, I really do think you are well.)

Dr. Bob

Response from Dr. Frascino


Welcome back to the forum. Although I wish it were just to say "hi" or "WOO-HOO" instead of "I am once again paralyzed with fear!!!" Despite the new information about the oil-based lotion, my assessment of your situation and advice remain exactly the same! Your HIV risk remains "extremely minimal." I continue to feel your fears are unwarranted. Also, since you continue to be worried, I recommend you get an HIV rapid test. The results will undoubtedly be negative and you'll have your definitive result in just 20 minutes. So when you ask "how has this changed my situation? What is my risk?" I can honestly reply your risk and your situation remain completely unchanged, i.e. minimal risk, excessive and unwarranted worry and a need for an HIV rapid test to put your residual fears permanently to rest!

I'm quite confident if you follow my advice this time, your next communication with me will begin with WOO-HOO!

I'm sending my very best good-luck/good-health karma that your conclusive HIV test is negative, as I strongly believe it indeed will be!

Good luck, future WOO-HOOer!

Dr. Bob

Response from Dr. Frascino


My assessment and advice once again remain completely unchanged! "Minimal risk, excessive and unwarranted worry and a need for a rapid HIV test to put your residual fears permanently to rest!"

I can add that your recent symptoms are not suggestive of or worrisome for HIV disease. Your fears are indeed irrational. Get a rapid HIV test! Do it now and you'll be WOO-HOOing in just 20 minutes! Stop procrastinating. Go! So what are you waiting for? Turn off the computer and go!!!

Dr. Bob

masturbation & Distance

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