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What are our safe limits?

Aug 20, 2007

+female, - male. I have been HIV+ and celibate for 20 years, undetectable viral load for 5 years. Currently involved in a relationship that feels "holy". Kissing and fondling afford continuous experience of afterglow. Shall I be content, or shoot for total expression? What are the safe limits of oral and penal/vaginal sex?

Response from Dr. Frascino


There is no absolute answer when talking about safer sex. I suggest you and your partner read through the archives of this forum pertaining to magnetic couples (one poz, one neggie). Together you will need to develop your own safer sexual rituals based on what is known scientifically and what meets both your comfort levels.

Safer sex methods and risk can be reviewed at

Three key points to keep in mind:

1. Communication is key.

2. HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how.

3. Consider having a starter pack of PEP available for unavoidable exposures (condom failure, etc.).

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Thank You Doc

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