I have been dating my hiv negative partner for a few months, we started out using condoms, he is the top. He can't cum when using a condom. Recently he has indicated that he wants only to bareback-although it feels better and i want him to cum outside of me-i don't feel that this is a good choice on his part. He has been tested and is hiv negative. I am hiv positive! I want him to stay negative. Help CAn u help me discuss this with him

Hi,

Your partner is indeed taking a very significant risk. The estimated per-act risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive anal sex with a poz partner is 6.5 per 10,000 exposures. He is in essence playing sexual Russian roulette. I would suggest both you and your barebacking top gun read the information in the archives related to "magnetic couples" and "sexual transmission." If indeed you want your Mr. Right to stay well (and negative), you should tell him you are not comfortable with his decision to bareback. Remember, it takes two to play Brokeback Mountain! Your buddy will also need repeat HIV testing three months after his last commando rear attack and, if negative, another HIV test at the six-month mark.

Good luck to you both!

Dr. Bob