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No test needed, I know I'm positive
Aug 15, 2007

Doc,

I performed oral sex on another man of unknown status while drunk in the bathroom of a night club...a guy as promiscuous as that just has to be HIV positive, don't you think?? Anyways, my symptoms are so consistent with HIV that I don't even think I need to be tested...fatigue, diarrhea almost every day, and the worst - tongue ulcers that started two weeks after exposue and are still here six weeks later!!!! I have already decided this is way too much a coincidence to be anything but HIV. What are your thoughts?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Here we go again! Another anxious wreck who feels he doesn't need to get an HIV test, because he "knows" he is positive. Gosh, with insight like that, you must work for the psychic hotline or the Bush administration.

Let me show you just one example of how ridiculously wrong your assumptions can be. You report you performed oral sex on a guy of unknown status in a bathroom of a nightclub. You state the guy "just has to be HIV positive," because he was so promiscuous as to be having casual sex in the men's room at Babylon. Well, drama queen, think again. Who was on the other end of that throbbing tallywhacker??? That's right. It was you lapping up the load of baby batter. So why are you assuming your Badda Bing boy-toy is an HIV-infected sex fiend? Couldn't he be thinking the exact thing about you?

Next, your "symptoms" are much more consistent with anxiety than with HIV! Symptoms, no matter what they are, do not equal HIV disease. Get a grip!

My thoughts? Well, they are exactly the same as for the last hundred or so freaked-out dudes who were absolutely convinced they had "every symptom in the book" and "were 100% sure" they were HIV infected without bothering to get an HIV test. I think it's time for you to grow up, face reality and stop all this nonsense. I think you need to read through the archives of this forum. Yes, all of them! Then, if you feel you've placed yourself at risk, you should get a rapid HIV test at the three-month mark. Finally, I think once you test negative, as undoubtedly you will, you should write back to me so I can include your testimonial with the other gazillion nearly identical tales of woe and ultimate enlightenment (and WOO-HOO-ment). Those are my thoughts!

I'll be waiting.

Dr. Bob



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