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Please ans i am going nutz

Aug 8, 2007

Hi,,my question is this. about 10 months ago I went out with this freind of mine a much older man he is 65, We had drinks and when he was taking me home he started to kiss me. We kissed for maybe an hour. It was deep kissing he had his tongue in my mouth and even sucked on my tongue a little. he also licked my breast. Now i am a 30 yr old female and have never had any type of sex. No oral, anal or vaginal, nor have i performed oral. My question is what if he was HIV+? Am I at risk since the kissing was for quite a long time? I didn't notice any cuts in my mouth but heck what if they were to small to notice? And as for him having cuts there would be no way of me knowing. I am so scared I been sick i cant sleep ear or anything. All I do is read about HIV on the net. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

I just read where someone was afraid of kissing an HIV+ person and you mentioned how you are HIV+ and your life partner is not. You said you both engage in kissing and more and he remains negative. I have been deathly ill for almost a yr now cause i deep kissed a man for about an hour. I dont remember any cuts and as for him having any i don;t know but I keep thinking what if i did have a cut in my mouth and what if he has HIV. I am so scared. So my question is do i need to get tested or do i need therapy for anxieity? I felt some relief when you said you and you partner kiss and more and that he remains negative but then I thought well maybe you are very carefull and only kiss briefly and check for cuts and sores first. Then i thought the man i kissed is 65 yrs old what if he had bleeding gums. I am so sick. I know my gums would bleed sometimes after brushing. then I Remembered my bottom wisdom teeth havent come in all the way through yet and if i poke at that area with a tooth pick it bleeds. Does that mean i have poor oral status and i was at risk . However i donteven know if the man has HIV. PLEASE HELP ME DR

Response from Dr. Frascino


A combined your two posts into one.

Your primary question is ". . . do I need to get tested or do I need therapy for anxieity?" Well, assuming "anxieity" is something similar to anxiety, the latter would indeed be the path to follow. Your HIV risk is nonexistent. Your fears of HIV are completely irrational and unwarranted. You are obviously not well informed about HIV, HIV transmission and, I would presume, many other issues related to sex and STDs. I can only assume you are yet another victim of home schooling or Dubya's "abstinence-only" sex education fiasco.

I would strongly urge you to seek psychological or psychiatric therapy for your "anxieity" and irrational HIV fears. You may well have a psychosomatic cause for your yearlong ailments. You also have catching up to do on basic sex education, including STD transmission and prevention. This site and its archives and related links would be a good place for you to start your remedial work in that area.

As for HIV testing, the only reason to do so would be to help put your irrational worries to rest. However, the depth of your anxiety may well require more than just seeing an HIV-negative test report for you to overcome your fears.

Good luck! Remember HIV is not your problem. No way, no how. However, you do indeed have a problem. It's just not HIV! It's anxiety!

Dr. Bob

Possible Occupational Exposure and Testing

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