Boyfriend just tested positive
Aug 5, 2007
First of all let me just thank you for having this forum. Beyond basic HIV education its tough to find information on the net.
Now my question. I have been dating my partner for 8 months now and we decided to get tested last week. His test came back positive using the western blot and mine came out negative using the orasure.
Throughout the relationship I have primarily been the bottom and we have always used protection. Condoms have never broken or fallen off that we know of. We have given eachother oral as well but never ejaculated in the others mouth.
How worried should I be that I am infected as well? I cant find any statistics, but know that all of these behaviors are low risk.
Also what can I do for him? I am the first person he told and I didnt know what to say. All I could do was hold him on the couch as we both cried. Even now I feel like such a puss, unless I keep distracted just thinking about it has me on the edge of tears. I was actaually crying driving home from work Friday. I told him that I have vacation saved up and would go with him to all his inital doctor appointments so they arent so scary and help him in any way I can but this whole thing just totally blows my mind. So here I am dealing with how to help him out as much as I can and worrying about myself on top of it.
I know our actions were low risk but if you could give me some numbers like 1 in 1000 or something that would be great. I know testing negative is a good sign but I am still not in the clear and need to be tested 3 and 6 months from now. Any advice on this would be great. Thank you for your time.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Concerned Guy,
Sorry to hear about your boyfriend's recent diagnosis. By the way, I'm assuming he had a positive ELISA prior to getting his Western Blot. If not, he should repeat his test. Western Blot testing should always be coupled with ELISA screening, due to a 2% rate of false-positives. Your HIV test should be repeated six months after your last possible exposure to reconfirm your negative status.
Regarding risk, if a latex condom was used properly for all penetrative sex and did not fail (break), then your HIV risk would be essentially nonexistent for those acts. Oral sex carries an extremely small risk for HIV transmission. The estimated per-act risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive and receptive oral sex with a poz partner is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures and 1 per 10,000 exposures respectively.
As for what you can do for your boyfriend, I applaud your idea to go with him to his doctor's visits. He'll also need to establish a circle of friends or family he can use as a support system. I would in addition advise you both avail yourselves of the wealth of information on this site, in its archives and on the related links. A good place to start can be found on The Body's homepage under "Quick Links." There you will find chapters, such as HIV Testing Basics, Just Diagnosed, HIV Medications and Inspiring Stories. In addition, you both should read through the archives of this forum that pertain to magnetic couples (one poz, one neggie) as well as the sections on HIV transmission and HIV prevention.
I'm here if you need me, OK? Give your partner a hug from me and advise him that I've been positive since January 1991 and that I've been in a very satisfying and wonderfully loving magnetic relationship with Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos Forum) for 14 years.
Good luck to you both. Let's all get through this together, OK?
Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS
This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.
Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither TheBody.com nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.