Dr. iam really concerned as ive heard that there are people who have gotten hiv from payphone slots.is this true or mere legend.Iam homeless and constantly look for loose change in payphone slots.Iam afraid of this and need your comfort and reassurance

Hi,

HIV from payphone slots occurs at the same rate as HIV from needles stuck in movie theater seats, which in turn occurs at exactly the same rate that brilliant, scientifically-sound ideas pop into Dubya's brain. That is to say this never ever happens. It's more urban legend, just like the old lady who tried to dry her wet kitty cat in the microwave oven or the scary kidney theft ring in New Orleans that supposedly stole people's kidneys by drugging them and leaving them in a bathtub full of ice. How do we know these urban legends are hoaxes? Well, the kidney theft ring is perhaps the best known, most feared and most widely spread urban legend recently. The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly asked for actual victims to come forward and tell their stories. So far they have exactly none! That's none as in zero! That's also the same number for people getting HIV infected from needles in payphone slots! ZERO! So stop worrying about HIV-tainted needles in payphone slots. There are much more important things to worry about these days. For instance, what about those alligators that dwell in the New York City sewer system that have grown to enormous size after being flushed down the toilet by dissatisfied pet owners??? And how about all those poor kids who have died when they ingested Pop Rocks candy mixed with soda, causing their stomachs to explode???

Dr. Bob