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I've heeded your advice!! Pls address my concerns!
Jul 23, 2007

Dear Dr Bob

You always advise others to level with their wives. I've heeded your advice and owned up to my gf about a one time casual sex incident. So please post my concerns!

My Story: Mid May, protected oral and protected penetrative vagina sex with casual contact(believe she is a tranny). Yes I know protected, but I changed the condom after about 3-5 mins of penetration to be safe, but stupidly forget to check if the old condom was intact and just threw it aside. Second condom was intact based on physical observation.

2nd week onwards, had 2 swollen lymph nodes on left side of neck and 2-3 pea sized nodes on groin that still exist today. Had a temp of 37.2-37.3 on 2 consecutive evenings on 4th week that went away on the same night. Week 10, sore throat, slight runny nose and v slight dry cough, and seem to feel 1 or 2 more swollen nodes on neck. All left side. Had slight fever of 37.2 (or is that a fever?). Seen the same doctor on 4th and 10th week and he wasnt concerned with the nodes nor hiv. I've also lost about 4-5 kg since.

Tested negative at 4th and 7th week on rapid test.

Very worried now that I am + and passed it to my gf. Had protected sex with her on 4th and 7th week. No oral. But there was a moment that she tried to rub her vagina on my penis without a condom. I stopped her immediately (didn't want to put her at risk), so probably it constitutes frottage at best? But 10 days after that, she had sore throat which got better in 3 days, but worsened the next day and took another 3 days to recover. Very slight dry cough as well. Her period is also due but not here yet.

Was feeling much better after 4th and 7th week negative test. But the sore throat my gf and I had on week 10, her late priod, together with the additional swollen nodes I found, made me think that I am positive and have passed it to her.

As mentioned I have leveled with her and am prepared to do all I can to win her trust back. But what I fear now is I am a late seroconvertor and has passed it to her; worse still, made her pregnant. Im really praying hard I didn't pass to her. Please give me your frank opinions and comments. And yes, many will think I am ridiculous and irrational, which I really hope I am.

Thank you Forever worried

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Forever Worried,

Yep, "ridiculous and irrational" sum things up quite nicely.

Protected sex is indeed protected, if the latex condom was used properly and did not break. (When they break, you'll know it! Mr. Happy's head comes poking out like your head pokes out of a turtleneck sweater!)

Your and your girlfriend's "symptoms" are not consistent with or suggestive of HIV ARS or HIV disease.

Your negative four- and seven-week tests are encouraging, but not definitive, as HIV-antibody tests taken prior to the three-month mark are not considered definitive.

If you think you've placed yourself at risk for HIV, retest at the three-month mark; although, from what you've explained, your risk appears to be essentially nonexistent.

Spend some time reviewing the archives of this forum and its related links. Your HIV-transmission fears are irrational and unwarranted. Most likely these fears are linked to guilt (I'm delighted you leveled with your girlfriend.) and lack of information (get informed!).

Dr. Bob



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