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Oil Lube - First Time

Jun 5, 2007

Dr. Bob,

I recently had my first time experience with receptive anal intercourse with a man of unknown status. He used a condom, but vaseline as a lube. At the time I didn't realize you can't use it with condoms. He had a large penis, would I have known if it broke inside me? I didn't feel that or any ejaculation. However, the experience was rather "messy," as I had diarrhea. Not sure if that means anything. Afterward, it didn't appear that it was broken, but I can't be sure I had a good enough look. Now I have extreme anxiety waiting for the three-month mark (only been 3 days). Please tell me my odds are the same as others and send some good-luck karma, please. Thank you so much. I will be sending a donation.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You are correct: oil-based lubricants can harm the integrity of latex condoms. I have no way of knowing if this occurred in your particular situation; consequently, I agree a three-month HIV test is warranted.

Would you notice if the condom broke? Usually yes, as when condoms fail they generally do so rather dramatically.

We don't have estimated risk statistics for your particular situation, but I can tell you overall the odds are very much in your favor that you did not contract HIV.

I realize the window period can be stressful. Read through the archives of this forum. You should find the testimonials there reassuring. If your "extreme anxiety" becomes difficult to cope with, see your doctor or a counselor for help.

Thanks for your donation ( My good-luck karma is on its way. (By the way, it hasn't failed yet!)

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

16 years and .....
How do I ask him why his sexual beahvior towards me has changed?

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