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Do I have HIV based on my story
Jun 4, 2007

Dear Robert, Thanks for all that you do...I'm working on having the kind of courage that you have. I just donated $100.00 to your cause and I will donate more as I am able to. Exactly 10 days ago I had sex with a prostitute. I'm a male and she was a he. (T-girl). I was only going there to get a massage and some hand relief, but in all of the excitement we started kissing. Nothing too forceful but tongues were involved. After that she went down on me unprotected for I guess a minute. She got out two condoms and place one on me with her mouth and continued the BJ. I told her to put on the other condom on herself which she did with her hands. Everything appeared to be intact and we 69'd for a bit. I never noticed any sores or cuts or anything in her mouth or genitals but how can you know for sure right? After that she put the head of her protected penis in my butt. I jerked off and came and that was it. All done. I never noticed any broken condoms or anything that would lead me to believe I was able to contract any STD. Later that night however I started to feel REALLY guilty and looked on the internet for possible diseases I could have caught. I have a 4 year relationship with a great girl and I feel like I really screwed up. Your site has helped me tremendously and I can't wait to give the biggest friggin' WOOHOO in a couple months. Not only will I WOOHOO, I will donate more money. I've read many of the posts and have feeling about what your going to say...but just reading it on MY post would help with the stress. So far I haven't had any symptoms except for extreme...EXTREME... anxiety from this whole situation. I know that sypmtoms don't usually appear within 10 days but everyday without a sore throat or diahhrea is a miracle to me. The only problem is not being able to work lately from the stress. So I suppose the post is just my confessional to get all this off of my chest, which it seems that many people do. I need to sleep and get back to work and live again. Please help. I also hope the post helps anyone else going through the same crap as me. Please give me the odds Doc. All my love to you and your cause, Stressed

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Stressed,

Unfortunately I cannot advise if you "have HIV based on (your) story." The only way to determine if someone has contracted the virus is to get an HIV-specific test outside of the window period. What I can do is discuss your odds of contracting HIV based on the activities you describe. From the description of your sexual adventures with T-Girl, I would rate your HIV risk negligible to nonexistent, assuming the latex condoms were used properly and did not fail.

I absolutely agree your current discomfort is related to guilt, anxiety and stress. The best way to cope with that is to level with your wife. I fully realize that is not an easy task, but it is not only the best way to confront and cope with your guilt and anxiety, but it's also the right thing to do. I don't know if you are having sexual orientation issues or just wanted to take a walk on the wild side, but this too may be something for you to explore with counseling, if necessary.

I really have no doubt that your HIV test will be negative. While this will resolve your HIV fears, I do not know if it will completely relieve your guilt. Confronting our indiscretions (we all have them!), taking responsibility for our actions, admitting our mistakes and learning from the experience are what is most crucial.

Thank you for your generous tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). Your one gift will touch many in desperate need! In return I'm sending you my best good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive HIV tests will be negative, as I very strongly suspect they indeed will be.

Finally, Stressed, perhaps it will help to point out that STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards! I suggest you have a piece of chocolate cake, relax and ratchet the anxiety levels down a few notches, OK?

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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