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How to deal...please help!!!

May 23, 2007

I was druged at a party, by the time my friends found me it's three hours later at the side of a alley. When I was conscious, I know that my vagina and anal hurts. I don't recall what happen or who took me, I just have flashes of being raped. Anyhow, I know I was raped because I feel it. I went and get tested for STD and HIV 2 days later. Everything came out neg. But I know the HIV test is not conclusive. I have to wait three months to get tested, but it has only been three weeks. What should I do in the mean time, I'm scare to death, I am anxious and I can't sleep. I keep thinking that I have early symptoms of HIV like night sweats, headaches, joint aches, rashes on my face at the 2 week mark, but disappear 2 days later. Question is if I have symptoms does that means the anitbody is working? Can I get tested now? Through you many years of experience do you have any tips on how I should deal with this waiting period? What are my chances of contracting HIV?

I read your site 24/7. I took your advice and told my wonderful boyfriend what happened, he's been super supportive, but I can't run to him with my anxiety because I don't want to make him worry and drive him away. We decided to be safe and not have sex until I know that I'm neg. I keep thinking to myself that this is karma, it's the punishment I get for being irresponsible and going out with friends that I don't know so well to a party when I already have such a wonderful boyfriend. Can you send me some good karma? I think I need it. I just wanted to thank you for all your work, you have help a lot of people physically and mentally. I think I would've went crazy if it's not for you and your site. One way I found that help me ease the pain of this waiting period is to think to myself, "so what if I'm tested positive for HIV, I can still live well and happy like you and it's not the end of the world right?!" I keep telling myself and it helps! The thing that scares me the most is how to tell my love ones if I'm positive, what to do with my boyfriend? It's the pain that I will cause the people I love is what's driving me crazy. It's ok if I'm sick but the pain I will cause people I love is what is unbearable.

Thank you so much for listening, just writing to you helped me go through yet another day. Thank you so much, where should I sent me donation to?

Response from Dr. Frascino


I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal. I'm sure it's frightening beyond belief. Did you report the possible rape to the authorities? A medical examination immediately after such an incident can help solve many of these concerns, not to mention help nail the scumbag who did it.

Regarding HIV, you will need to wait through the window period. Counseling can help you cope with the anxiety. If necessary, antianxiety medications can be prescribed. Symptoms are unreliable, so don't focus on them. Symptoms or no symptoms, it's the test that counts!

Your concerns about how to tell your loved ones, etc. are very premature. Stay focused on the present rather than worrying about a situation you most likely will never have to deal with, OK?

I'm here if you need me.

Thanks for your donation. Information about The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation can be found on the Foundation's Web site at Our address is:

The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation 1000 Fremont Ave., Suite 145 Los Altos, CA 94024

Good luck! Be well!

Dr. Bob

Risk from head phones

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