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every time i think i'm out...they pull me back in (and then i need dr. bob)

May 15, 2007

dr. bob,

you answered a question of mine a couple of years ago. i check the forum now and then to stay current, and have also donated to the foundation several times (you're on my annual list). i'm hoping that you can find a second to answer this and perhaps quell some of my anxiety.

encounter: in the strip club (of course) i end up in the private booth with a dancer. we had sex. it was completely protected as i had a condom on. here's the anxiety-issue....

worry: about midway through the encounter, a nosy bouncer comes shuffling nearby (bastard). as to not get caught with my pants down, i pull up my shorts and tight boxer briefs. after he leaves, the stripper and i resume sex and finish. i didn't think twice about it until i got home and noticed what i assumed to be cum leaking from penis (i'm a post ejaculation leaker). and it dawned on me that my condom'ed penis had been in the boxers as during the sex-intermission, for at least a minute or two. so the question is, what is the likelihood of getting infected via vaginal secretions on condom --> to boxer briefs--> to urethra???? it seems to me that if she was wet (she was), and the condom came into contact with the briefs, then something had to have rubbed off? second, if my penis was face-up and leaking into these secretion wet spots, then there might have been the risk of infection. am i being silly?

i checked the forum and you answered a similar question posed on nov. 3, 2006. your answer, though, was of the "if it was that easy to catch..." variety. if im being totally unreasonable in my fear, i'd like to know why, please. is it because (1) the virus wouldn't have survived that long outside her body, nor transferred that easily to the underwear from the latex? (2) the virus wouldn't have survived that long on the boxers/remained potent enough to infect or (3) even if my urethra was leaking into the wetspots, it would have been a difficult transfer??

i'm sorry for the rambling question, but i have a fiance and this was a bachelor party situation. i'm obviously paranoid that this five minutes of silly lust may ruin a relationship i've tried so hard to maintain. you really have no idea how much calm/peace your answer will bring, regardless of whether the news is good or bad. please help bob!!!

- mr. thought i had safe sex but maybe i didn't.

ps: how often, in your practice do you actually see non-intercourse, non-needle/occupational exposure, types of infections??? theoretical risk aside, do people really get infected by non-blood related secretions on cut hands, inside-out condoms, in eyes, from sheets/underwear, etc.????

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Mr. Thought I Had Safe Sex But Maybe I Didn't,

The transmission risk for HIV in Badda Bing Betty's vaginal secretions on your condom to transfer to your tighty whities (while the bastard bouncer shuffled by) and then transfer once again to your one-eyed monster is nonexistent. Why? Well for the reasons you list: HIV doesn't survive long outside the body and HIV would not transfer from latex to underwear to urethra, even if you are a post-ejaculation leaker. If you remain worried, get a single HIV rapid test at the three-month mark. It will undoubtedly be negative.

Regarding your P.S., non-sex, non-needle, non-occupational exposure HIV transmissions are extremely rare. They would include mother-to-child transmission. As for transmission form inside-out condoms, spit or spunk in the eye or jizzed-up sheets and boxers, etc., these theoretical risks are much more urban legend than what an HIV specialist would actually see in the office on a routine or even rare basis.

Be well. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

16 years and counting
3 months HIV test : Help

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