Please do not second guess my suffering. Thank you.
May 14, 2007
First, thank you for answering my question. Your detailed response is much appreciated.
However, I must say your cavalier, dismissive attitude to my situation (implying it's fabricated) is quite wrongheaded (that's a euphemisim).
I was brutally raped in high school, to the point where I brutalized myself every time I had a sexual thought or feeling. I cut myself, starved myself, punched myself in the head. I've been committed, I've attempted suicide. I've gained 100 pounds on anti-depressants. I had to go to a community college because I couldn't concentrate in school (gee, I wonder why---rueful grin).
This is not a joke!
Have you ever been raped? Have you ever lost your first love because you were so ashamed and scared?
I converted to heterosexuality out of fear. My first girlfriend, I didn't even touch her for two and-a-half years, until, out of frustration, she tried to force herself on me in a diner we both worked at, twice, armed with (ha, ha) a butter knife.
I suffer from chronic hypnagogia, IBS, OCD and social anxiety from being raped, and a tendency to, yes, not be able to control my ejaculations due to my self-assaults, effectively turning myself into an asexual, then trying to reverse the procedure.
And the cock socks, yes, they're real, too. Painfully real (although, thankfully, I've recently downgraded myself to a mere band-aid across the top of my penis---a far less agonizing innovation).
While I do respect your opinion, greatly---so greatly, in fact, I was willing to ask for it for over a month---your perspective is not the end-all and be-all of existence. I've gone through suffering the likes of which few people can scarcely imagine and every bit of it was excruciatingly real.
And while I'm saying this, I might as well ask: I've been working on a memoir of my experiences with a number of minor celebrity authors---Celine Dione's biographer, Bill Roorbach---but I've often wondered if my story is too wild to be believed. In a way, you actually make me feel better about my memoir writing. I feel much more interesting if even a sliver of my personal story is pronounced uncanny by a doctor who, doubtless, has seen and heard it all.
Still, a retraction posted in the forum is definitely warranted.
Cheers and be well, and thanks again!
Response from Dr. Frascino
You're welcome, but I must say the added information isn't helping your credibility from my perspective. You are "unable to control (your) ejaculations due to (your) self-assaults, effectively turning (yourself) into an asexual, then trying to reverse the procedure"?!?!? Do you have any idea how whacko that concept is?
I don't know if I've "seen and heard it all," but I certainly have seen and heard a great deal. And dude, the cock-sock downgraded to a Band-Aid-bound Mr. Happy is a new one to me. Yes, I've seem extremely disturbed individuals who have cut themselves, starved themselves, punched themselves in the head, attempted suicide and gained 100 pounds on anti-depressants, but this would include the entire locked psych ward at a major hospital, not a single patient!
Finally, where you totally lost me was your statement, "I converted to heterosexuality out of fear . . . ." Dude, sexual orientation is not something you convert like a sofa bed! Do send me a copy of your book, if it winds up on Oprah's book list, OK? Until then, I wish your shrink the best of luck.
I really respect your opinion and am powerfully anxious! May 13, 2007
I've been asking this question in this forum without reply for over a month. I really respect your opinion and am powerfully anxious, to the point of sickness.
I have a problem with uncontrollable ejaculation. The slightest sexual stimulation makes me get aroused, the merest brush or sight of an attractive female. This comes from 10 years of violent sexual repression after a rape. Now I'm in a fulfilling, sexual relationship, but my problem still remains. So, as I've done for the past five years, I wear rubber balloons around my penis when I'm in public. This is unpleasant, but it keeps my pants clean. However, when I go to use a restroom and take off the "cock socks," as I've affectionately named them, I often notice a ring of raw flesh which is sometimes bleeding. I have to cut my CS just so, so they stay on, but don't chafe. My question is: If I'm in a public restroom and bleeding, even if only slightly, is there any chance of coming in contact with HIV-infected blood under the toilet seat or along the rim of the bowl itself, that I might accidentally brush against, thus infecting myself, should I accidentally make contact with my bleeding member?
I mean, I don't want to be this way. But drugs don't help and I can't seem to make this problem go away through sheer force of will.
Should I bother getting tested? Am I being a hypochondriac?
Thanks and thanks and thanks again!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Powerfully Anxious,
Yes indeed you have been asking this question repeatedly for over a month, but I wasn't sure (and still am not sure) it was a real question. This forum does generate a fair number of pseudo-questions and your tale of "uncontrollable ejaculation" following the "slightest sexual stimulation" resulting from "10 years of violent sexual repression after rape" such that you have to "wear rubber balloons around (your) penis when in public," which you have named "cock socks," does sound, shall we say, a bit far fetched!?!
To directly respond to your question about your cock-socked chafed tallywhacker and HIV risk from public restrooms, I would suggest this risk is so remote as to be essentially nonexistent. Certainly if there was fresh HIV-infected blood that came into contact with your bleeding Mr. Happy, there would be a theoretical risk of HIV transmission. However, I truly believe this risk actually happening is beyond remote.
Returning now to the question of why your cock is socked to begin with, I would suggest you seek the help of a psychiatrist or psychotherapist in addition to your general medical doctor.
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