Dr Bob,

My situation is that 3 hours before, I visited a prostitute, however we didn't touch each other and we were just masturbating without actual contact until I ejaculated on her breast.

My worry is that because she was also masturbating, I am afraid that some of her virginal secretion may retain on her breast because she was also touching her breast during her masturbation and so I am worried that at the time when I ejaculate on her breast, my semen may drop on her secretion located on the breast and since the viscosity of semen is quite high, I am afraid that some of the semen may strike back because of the tensional force of high viscosity liquid and may be by this means, her secretion may touched my penis!!

Is it a risk actually and shall I get tested after 3 months? Please help!!!!!!

Yours faithfully,

Stupid Guy

Hello Stupid Guy,

Let me get this straight. You visited a prostitute three hours ago and you're worried about the "virginal" secretions on her breast!?!? A prostitute with "virginal" secretions???? Seems a bit oxymoronic, doncha think?

Plus, you're worried that the "quite high viscosity" of your semen would bounce off her boobs and "strike back" on your penis "because of the tensional force"?!?!?!

Dude, even if your Naughty Lady of Shady Lane has silicone-enhanced knockers the size of watermelons, it doesn't mean your spunk is suddenly going to bounce around like a bucket of crazed ping pong balls.

Your HIV risk is nonexistent, but your imagination is indeed impressive.

Dr. Bob