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Apr 30, 2007

Dr. Bob,

I'm sure you never even heard about something like this before but I'm worried a hooker stabbed a needle in my dick while she was giving me a blow-job and infected me with HIV. She was a really nasty lady. What do I do now? I'm afraid to have sex with my wife.


Mr. X

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Mr. X,

You're worried the Naughty Lady from Shady Lane pricked your dick while giving you a hummer??? Hmmm . . . and you are sure I've never ever heard of such a thing before now? Well, certainly one might guess that a paranoid delusion like this wouldn't come up all that often, but as I've told readers time and time again, check the archives, because you'd be amazed how often the information you seek is already there, just waiting for your double click. Your pricked prick delusional fantasy is an excellent example. See below. My assessment and recommendations remain completely unchanged!

Dr. Bob

I can't do this anymore Jul 8, 2006

Please Dr. Frascino, help me. What are the approximate probabilities of contracting HIV when infected blood from a needle is directly injected into your blookstream? I'm still freaking out and can't do this anymore. I don't have the courage to get tested. The palms of my hands regularily get a rash, swollen, and then peel. I've seen this online and I believe it is Kawasaki like syndrom in HIV+ men. I have small and very numerous warts all over the backs of my hand, and appearing less numerously on other areas of my body such as feet. I've never had this problem before and I'm a 26 yr old athletic male. little bumps on my skin, and yellow spots on my shoulders. The follicules on my back have hard, yellow substance in them, similar to blackheads. I can rub/force them out using my hands or fingers (like pimples). i have developed outbreaks of folliculitus all over my upper body and trunk. it will appear rash like, with little white heads on them, and show up quit suddenly, leaving after a few days or less. sometimes i get big infected follicules on my arms and back. i pop them and the leave horrible scarring, i'm starting to look like a freak. Dr. could you tell me whether the onset of these symptoms is consistent with one who was infected around 8 years ago? I was stabbed in the vein by an infected person's blood, but failed to get PEP treatment b/c I was afraid and did not know about it. i don't remember seroconverting, but i did develop the edema/rash/peeling of my hands 6 months later. ever since then I've neglected to find out whether the assault got HIV into me. now all these problem have developed and continued within the last year or so. It's not just the peeling hands (and a few times on the bottoms of my feet). This couldn't be anything else could it? it all points to weakened immune system and blood work. For about 6 months now i've had little muscle twiches all over my body, arms, legs, calves, pecks. I'm too scared to find out b/c i have too much on my plate right now. just graduated from law school, in a real serious relationship, and too happy with life, and insecure with myself to cope with such an issue. I regret putting myself in the situation i did 8 years ago so much. She pricked me in the urethra, and i felt it, after didn't see any mark there, likely b/c my penis was no longer erect, and 3 months later i have an infection inside the urethra, it itched and was irritated. i went to a dr who took an std swab which came back negative, however, i did no follow her instructions to have blood tests done. That is when my fears began. Now 8 yrs later, i can't take it anymore, i'm going crazy with guilt and sorrow. sorry this is so long, but i need your support and you are a wonderful person, probably the only one i trust to talk with right now. Thanks, Depressed and in hiding (HELP!_

Response from Dr. Frascino


You got "stabbed in the vein by an infected person's blood . . . ." What??? How did that happen? Did you get attacked by a crazed HIV-positive phlebotomist with excellent aim and technique?

You "neglected to find out whether the assault got HIV into (you)????" Hmmm . . . you "neglected" this for eight years??? Eight years???? Buddy, that's a whole lotta neglect!

So now you "believe" you have Kawasaki-like syndrome, because of something you saw on line? Guess it's a good thing you didn't happen to check out the Ebola Web site.

You think "it all points to a weakened immune system???" Hmmm . . . you also report you just graduated from law school. Really? Well, Counselor, your "it all points to a weakened immune system" theory really wouldn't hold up in court. It's not even circumstantial evidence. In fact, there is no evidence at all suggesting that conclusion. (Better review "evidence"related stuff before taking your bar exam!)

This story just keeps getting more and more bizarre. I just read the part where you state that "she pricked me in the urethra . . . ." Dude, you really think someone deliberately pricked your prick with HIV eight years ago???? Oh gosh, just what we need, another delusional lawyer. I suppose Dubya will want to appoint you to the Supreme Court as well.

OK, Lawyer-Guy, here's my take on your pricked-prick predicament. I don't believe it happened. I don't believe someone deliberately injected HIV into your trouser snake. Your fears are irrational. If you placed yourself at risk for HIV by having unprotected sex, you need to get an HIV test. A single rapid HIV test will give you a definitive result within 20 minutes. The result will most likely be negative. However, you appear to have a much greater problem. That being anxiety, depression and irrational fear. I strongly recommend you seek the counsel of a psychiatrist to help you confront and cope with these very real medical conditions.

Counselor, you need counseling! "Going crazy with guilt and sorrow" is really not a good alternative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Donating blood and Lexapro
You are frickin hilarious

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