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Taipei Hostess and me being Weak
Apr 28, 2007

Hi Doc,

I a weak married man was in Taipei a few weeks ago. I entered a hostess bar and as you can imagine all the hostesses ganged-up on me. One in particular a seemingly charming Vietnamese girl cought my attention and we ended up going to a hotel room for a bit. she lightly tried to give me a bj, but i thwarted that (only because of a premature ejaculation concern). Still she gave me a light bj. Then a light massage after which she placed a condom on me (I dont know the type) and was on top, moving hard. I think the condom stayed in tact. My biggest concern though is that I had bleeding in may anal area due to Hemroids and maybe also on my outer bad area due to a heavy hike that day. After the intercourse she wanted to give me a massage (most just say thats it and bye) flipped me to my tummy and sat on my butt. If she had HIV, is it a possibility that while she was sitting on me any of her juices flowed and made contact with any possible bleeding I had?

2.5 weeks later I got sick, Sore throat, Fever, Fatigue, Headache, and Congestion. My wife got sick two ays before me, did I get it from her or could she have gotton it from me before I saw strong symptoms?

I had one HIV test negative and the other scheduled for the 3 Month mark. My problem is my wife wants to try to get pregnant, and I feel I should wait for the 3 Month mark first.

Have you ever seen a weak man as me? Do I have a risk at all?

Thanks,

I am a total mess....

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

The hostesses ganged up on you??? So that means you're either a real hottie or you had that "I'm married but horny" look.

As for your risk, I'm a bit uncertain what you mean by your "outer bad area due to a heavy hike that day." At any rate, a "light bj" would carry a very minimal risk for HIV transmission. The condom-protected "moving hard" ride on your crotch rocket would be a negligible HIV risk, assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail. As for sitting on your butt, this would not be considered an HIV risk, hemorrhoids or not.

Your symptoms are very generic and certainly not diagnostic of HIV.

My advice is:

1. Level with your wife. It's the best way to confront your guilt and, besides, it's the right thing to do. You can then decide together whether to wait for your three-month definitive HIV test result before trying to get pregnant.

2. Get tested at the three-month mark to put any residual HIV fears permanently to rest.

I see no reason to be a "total mess." Just take control of the situation by being honest, doing the right thing, accepting the consequences of your actions and learning from your mistakes and indiscretions. That's the way to transform a weak man into one of honor and strength.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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