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My Husband is infected with HiV and im negative but im scared to death please read my question doctor im very nervios and sad

Mar 20, 2007

Hello there Doctor i thank god i found your web im very worry and kind of sad because HiV is very controversial i got married 3 months ago and well now we went to the doctor and ask for an HiV test he got positive and i got negative since we got married we used condoms but like 6 or 7 times we didnt my question is can i trust the results that im negative ? and if im negative can we have childrens ? and what kind of sexual live can and Hiv Can live with a negative person for Hiv ? can we kissed ? and have sex with condoms ? i really hope u can answer my questions because im very worry and scared to death just to think of that maybe we cannot have childrens we only have 24 yrs old and always dream to have a family thank you doctor god bless you .....

Response from Dr. Frascino


I'm sorry to hear about your husband's recent HIV diagnosis. However, HIV has been around for more than a quarter of a century. It really shouldn't be all that "controversial" anymore. In fact, it's been prevalent since before you were born! Consequently, there really is no reason you shouldn't be more informed and aware of HIV/AIDS as well as its prevention, testing and treatment! Your experience points out once again that our HIV awareness, education and prevention efforts are woefully inadequate. (Thank you, President Dubya and your ill-conceived anti-science, anti-common sense, abstinence-only sex-ed programs!)

To briefly respond to your questions, here is what I suggest:

1. Use latex condoms properly for all penetrative sex.

2. You will need a repeat HIV test at three months from your last potential exposure and, if still negative, another test at the six-month mark. If your six-month test is also negative, you can rest assured that you are definitively HIV negative.

3. Your husband needs to establish care with an HIV specialist without delay.

4. Both you and your husband should spend considerable time reviewing basic information about HIV, HIV prevention, HIV transmission, safer sexual practices and HIV treatments. A good place to begin this review is the information found under the "Quick Links" section on The Body's homepage. It includes chapters on "HIV Testing Basics," "Just Diagnosed" and "HIV Medications" among others. You should also review the information in the archives of this forum and on its related links.

5. Despite your husband's positive HIV status, you can still have children. However, to do so safely, you'll need the help of an HIV knowledgeable obstetrician. Special procedures, including sperm washing and in vitro fertilization, will be necessary to minimize any risk to you or your babies.

Don't be nervous and sad. Instead, become informed and proactive. HIV is not the end of the world. I've been HIV positive since January 1991!

Good luck to both you and your husband.

Dr. Bob

QTND with a twist that needs clarification
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