questionable exposure and afraid to have sex with wife
Mar 17, 2007
Doc: First thank you very much for having an infromative web site. I hope that you well answer my question, even though I have researched it this site. I'm very afraid to have sex with my wife do to to this one incident and need, please!!! to know what my risk was. I had mutual masturbation with a male whos health status I do not know going on four weeks ago. (first and last time ) Touching went back and forth ie him touching himself and then me etc. We also massaged each others anus with fingers. I may have gotten precum on my fingers or hand (not sure ) and its unknown if he may have had some on his fingers. He did oral on me ,but I had a condom on and I massaged his anus with the tip of my penis also with a condom on. After we finished, I did wash my hands. I have been avoiding my wife and I know that I well not be able to continue this for much longer. I know if I tell her about this incident it well end the marriage which well lead to what I did getting out to family , friends and job. But the most important thing is I don't want to expose my wife to hiv if I may have contacted it. Please I really need to know my risk factor and any ideas of what I can do
Thank you very much
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sure, I'll explain your risk (you'll be reassured) and advise you what to do (you won't like this part).
The HIV risk of mutual masturbation is not considered to be significant. The specific HIV risk for the activities you describe is nonexistent. Your fears and anxiety are related to guilt over having a same-sex interlude and cheating on your wife. My advice is to level with your wife. It's not only the best way to cope with your guilt and anxiety; it's also the right thing to do. Counseling may also help you come to terms not only with your guilt, but also with your underlying sexual-orientation issues. I suggest that you be honest not only with your wife, but also with yourself. It's the only way to ultimately finding both peace and happiness.
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