Strip club encounter
Mar 16, 2007
First off just wanted to say thanks for what you do with this forum.
I also wanted to say I couldn't agree more..now.. with alot of what you say about sex education and attitudes and things like abstinance. I was raised by a very conservative, fundamentalist Christian family and lead an extremely sheltered life through high school. This made it difficult to make or maintain any relationships in college even though I was very successful academically.
Anyway.. I developed problems with depression and also an addiction to strip clubs. I have had very little sexual experience (I am now 28) but what happened a couple weeks ago had me a bit scared and I was wanting some advice as to what to do and how I should think about it.
I was at a strip club I had been to several times before, and getting some dances from a girl I'd seen several times before as well. After a couple of table dances out on the floor of the club, we went back to their more secluded VIP booth for some dances. Both of us were a bit intoxicated. She proceded to unbutton my jeans and give me a hand job, occassionally rubbing it against the outside of her panties. Then without her saying anything at all she pulled her panties to the side and pushed me inside her without a condom. Sex lasted for a few minutes. I was really too surprised to react and as I said was a bit drunk. She said when I was talking to her later than she gets checked regularly and her most recent std checkup was clean (this was after I'd cleared my head and it actually sunk in what had happened).
My questions are as follows.
1) How worried should I be about this encounter, from any STDs not just HIV. As I understand things I am at significantly higher risk for several other STDs anyway.
2) Once penetration is achieved, should i have insisted on pulling out and either stopping or using a condom? Or at that point was most of the risk already taken.
3) Should I get a full std panel done just to be sure? If so, how long should i wait?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Gosh, another gent raised by a "very conservative, fundamentalist Christian family" with abstinence-only attitudes who then has difficultly making or maintaining relationships, ultimately becoming depressed and addicted to Badda Bing strip clubs!!?! You're like the 10th one this week! You guys really should start a club, support group or something. I can see it now: the Recovering Victims of Extra-Chromosome Rightwing Religious Zealot Wingnuts Support Group!
OK, back to your questions:
1. You had unprotected insertive vaginal sex with a Badda Bing Betty lap dancer of unknown HIV serostatus. That places you at risk for STDs, including HIV. Your assumption that many STDs are more easily acquired than HIV is correct. How worried should you be? Well, at least worried enough to get STD/HIV screening and to learn from this inebriated indiscretion never to put yourself at risk again!
2. The optimal time to put the condom on was before Mr. Happy found his way into the love canal. Would it have been less risky if you pulled out immediately and dressed for the occasion? Yes, that would have decreased, but not completely eliminated, your HIV/STD risk.
3. Yes. You can get your STD screening now, but wait for the three-month mark before getting your HIV test, as HIV antibody tests taken prior to three months are not considered to be conclusive.
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