? "safe encounter with HIV + man
Feb 16, 2007
Hi Dr Bob: Firstly let me say what a great job I think you do. Secondly, please accept my condolences about your brother. I am glad that you have such great memories of him and your times together. But I also have a question for you (which I suspect you already figured out.) Seven weeks ago I had a holiday romance with a guy (I am also male) who is known HIV +. I played safe, but now (of course) am second guessing and wondering if I was safe enough. The interaction consisted of: We french kissed, he rimmed me for a few seconds and we masturbated. He fingered my anus, not deep, just the opening. I can't be sure he had no pre-ejaculate or semen on his finger but I understand this isn't a big risk anyway. I'm not concerned about any of the above (am I right?) My concern relates to the following: 1) We didn't fellate each other, but licked each others shafts. He tried to blow me but I stopped him as soon as he tried to put his mouth over my glans. Also, I got one drop of his pre-ejaculate on the tip of my tongue no more. Once I tasted that, I stopped my licking and proceeded to other ways of helping him feel good. 2) He played with my nipples (mouth and hands.) I had no abrasions, bleeding or open sores before, during or right after, but a couple of days later my nipples were chapped (he was a bit rough I know, I know, OUCHAMAGOUCHA) and there were 2 areas of superficial scabs, like what you might see after a friction burn. As a gay male not yet involved in a monogamous relationship, I get tested for HIV every 6 12 months depending on my level of activity. I have had no symptoms of ARS (or anything else except a day or so of diarrhea a couple of days ago) since that time, which I mention just for completeness sake even though symptoms are not a good indicator of anything. My questions are: 1)Should I get an extra test at three months out? Or is this so low risk that my usual testing will suffice.? 2)Should I abstain from sex (even safe, because condoms can break etc) until I have tested? Since then I have started seeing someone seriously (he is HIV-) and dont want to put him at any risk. Thank you for your time and your reply. Keep up the good work!
Response from Dr. Frascino
1. The activities you describe would not constitute a significant risk for HIV transmission. Your usual every-six-month testing should suffice. However, if you are worried, getting a test at the three-month mark is an option that's always open to you.
2. Abstain from sex? Are you out of your mind? Your pipes might rust. I see no reason for such drastic measures. A well-lubed condom is all that's required.
3. Regarding your new main squeeze, why not just level with him and decide together what level of sex play you are both comfortable with.
Stay safe. Stay well.
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