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Feb 14, 2007

Hello Dr. Bob:

I have a feeling that I am suffering from anxiety and guilt, but would like your opinion. During the first week of October I received oral sex from a female of unknown HIV status. This was done after making the horrible decision to cheat on my wife. I had negative tests done at weeks 10 and 11 through my doctor's office and then had another negative test using the Oraquick Oral swab at a testing clinic. I am also dealing with the suicide of my best friend at the moment and feel that it could be contributing to my anxiety. The last unprotected sex I had was almost three years ago and it was with two different women that I picked up at a local bar.

I cannot shake the fear of HIV and want to believe the test results but I am having a difficult time doing so. The thought that keeps crossing my mind is that all three tests are incorrect and I need to retest.

I realize that this may sound irrational and I am seeing a therapist about this as well.

I do not want to infect my wife and need assurance that I can move on.

Thanks a lot for the great forum.

Response from Dr. Frascino


I absolutely agree with your assessment that you are "suffering from anxiety and guilt." HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. (That's assuming your last negative test was at least three months after your potential exposure.) You need to more aggressively address your anxiety and guilt problems. I would suggest you begin by leveling with your wife, if you have not already done so. This is not only the best way to confront your guilt, but it's also the right thing to do.

I'd also suggest you share this post and my response with your therapist. No additional HIV testing is warranted.

Focus on the very real medical problems that you have anxiety, guilt and depression and stop chasing a disease you could not possibly have.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

diagnosed with Ghonorrhea
Our turn to say "you are not alone"

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