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Risk of esposure-Please reply; extremely scared

Dec 26, 2006

This site has been mvery helpful to me in the last 2 days. I cannot find enough words to appreciate the effort of the site to educate and communicate people with problems like mine. Please bear me in case I am repetitive in some questions, but would still like your views as I think that every case is different. Please understand that I am feeling extremely guilty and distressed. I would be making a donation generous by my standards, on getting a response here

I am a 33 year old married man with 2 kids. Till 2 days back, I never had sex with anybody other than my wife. I have never taken drugs and never had any sexually transmitted disease as far as my knowledge goes. I currently dont have any external injuries on my penis. I was tested negative for HIV1/2 last month during a routine test dome by my employer.

I would like to describe a rash episode 2 days back with a Call Girl/ escort from New York. Not extremely high end buy not low end too.

I touched her on her vagina, superficially. Then she had oral sex with me after she put a condom on my penis. Before putting it on, she spit in the condom to lubricate it. I think that it was a latex condom, but I am not sure. This lasted for about 2-3 minutes.

When I was just about to ejaculate due to the oral sex, she stopped and she sat on me such that my penis entered her vagina. The same condom with she was doing the oral sex was still on. The penetration did not last for more than 2 minutes, might be even lesser. I must emphasize that I never wanted to have intercourse and wanted to stop at oral sex. So when penetration did happen, I started getting overcome with guilt and my penis started becoming smaller (my penis is on the smaller size). Even then, I ejaculated inside her vagina (with the condom) and came out of her perhaps 10 seconds after that.

By this time my penis had shrunk to its usual, unexcited size. So the condom just came off. I dont know if it broke or was cracked. I was all wet around my penis, most probably with my own semen. I am not sure if at that point, there was any contact of her vaginal secretions with any part of my body, but it is quite possible that the external part of the condom could have touched my penis in the act of taking it out. After that I washed my self and she did the same.

My questions to you are

1) What would be my chances of contracting HIV or some other STD? 2) Do you think that contact with her vaginal secretions can cause an infection? I keep hearing that correct use of the condom prevent HIV transmission? What is meant by the correct use of condoms? I feel that some contact with the secretions is definitely possible while removing the condom. Am I right? 3) How would I know if my condom broke or was ineffective? I did not feel anything unusual though. 4) Should I get a test done? I want to for the peace of mind. Can you suggest what type of test should I take at the earliest so that I can be somewhat assured. 5) Can I continue having sex with my wife till the time my test results return?

Response from Dr. Frascino


I'm delighted you have found the information here "mvery helpful."

Proceeding directly to your questions:

1. If the latex condom was used properly and did not fail, your risk of acquiring HIV would be essentially nonexistent.


a. Not if the condom was in place.

b. Correct! HIV cannot permeate intact latex.

c. Properly applying a latex or polyurethane condom before sexual activity. (You can search the archives for very detailed information on how to "properly" apply and use a condom.)

d. I wasn't there. I have no way of knowing. Even if there was "some contact," your specific HIV risk remains negligible.

3. If it broke, you would know. It's not a subtle occurrence and Mr. Happy's head would be sticking out the way your head sticks out of a turtleneck sweater!


a. Testing is up to you. Certainly it may be the most efficient and effective means of permanently allaying your irrational worries.

b. An HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. A "rapid test" will give you an accurate result in just 20 minutes!

5. My suggestion here would be to level with your wife. You report feeling "extremely guilty and distrusted" over this incident. The best way to confront your guilt is to be honest and level with your wife. It's also the right thing to do. Together you can decide on what level protection to use until you get your three-month definitive test result.

I also encourage you to read the archives of this forum. You should find the testimonials and information there to be both enlightening and encouraging.

Thank you for your donation! ( In return, I'll send my best good-luck karma that your definitive three-month test is negative, as I very strongly believe it indeed will be!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

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