Plan Of Action After Encounter With Sex Worker?
Dec 26, 2006
Dear Dr Bob,
I thank you for continuously putting things in perspective for all of us worried minds. Sorry in advance for this lengthy post but I have a number of questions and would greatly appreciate if you could assess my situation.
I have been in a steady relationship for almost three years now. Although I am very happy with my girlfriend (I really think she is the one) I have visited prostitutes on a few occasions when away on trips. I am continuously plagued with guilt about these escapades but somehow keep doing it. This may sound stupid, but could this be an addiction? I know this may not be your area of expertise but maybe you could recommend which type of specialist to see for counseling?
Moving on to you area of expertise: While during previous encounters with sex workers I was well protected (condoms for both oral and intercourse), my last visit 3 days ago in Hong Kong was different:
First I received unprotected anal cunnilingus. I understand from your forums that there is practically no risk of contracting HIV from getting rimmed. However, I do not know where she had her mouth earlier. So which other STDs could have been transmitted and what should my plan of action be?
Second I received unprotected deep oral sex. This went on for about five minutes and I could occasionally slightly feel her teeth. What are risks of getting HIV or other STDs from this and what should be my plan of action?
Third we kissed. I know from your forums that kissing does not transmit HIV. However, I do not know where she had her mouth earlier, so what are the risks of getting other STDs and what should my plan of action be?
And finally, what is worrying me most: After having protected intercourse, she scratched my penis with her fingernail while taking the condom off. The scratch occurred in an area that had been previously covered by the condom. After about a minute, a small drop of blood had formed and we took a hot shower. Although between the scratching and the shower, neither of us touched the scratch, she then washed my penis with soap. It continued to bleed minutely afterwards. What are the risks of getting HIV or other STDs here and what should be my plan of action?
Is it safe to have protected intercourse or unprotected oral sex with my girlfriend before I have conclusive test results? I am sorry for bombarding you with questions, but I am extremely anxious about this escapade and would greatly appreciate your advice.
PS. I have just donated US100 to help combat this awful disease.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Regarding your first question, "could this be an addiction?" no, I don't believe it is. Certainly sex addiction is a real psychological condition; however, "visiting prostitutes on a few occasions when away on trips" doesn't qualify! Your real problem appears to be being "continuously plagued by guilt." That's the condition for which I recommend you seek help. Any good psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to help you address this problem and also explore your reasons for wanting to visit prostitutes.
Regarding all your other questions, detailed answers are already waiting for you in the archives, although you may have to search a bit, considering the wide scope of topics you want addressed. However, I don't feel repeating extensive lists of potential STDs that could be acquired from a variety of different sexual acts is all that helpful. Here's what I would recommend. If you are worried about STDs, see your doctor for an STD screen and checkup. I would also recommend you get vaccinated for hepatitis A and B and spend some time reviewing the wealth of information in the archives of this forum and on its related links.
Your fingernail scratch is not a risk for STDs/HIV and therefore no action plan is warranted!
Regarding your girlfriend, I suggest you level with her about your activities and then you can decide together what level of protection to use until your conclusive three-month HIV test.
Finally, as for your receiving "anal cunnilingus," well, Nic, that would be physiologically impossible, unless you were a post-surgical tranny. Cunnilingus is oral-vaginal sex!
Thanks for your donation!
Happy Healthy Holidays.
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