Dr. Bob, I'm scared
Dec 23, 2006
My boyfriend has slept with close to 100 women. So when we started dating in April, I took it upon myself to make sure we both got tested for HIV. The man had never been tested before.
He swore up and down that it had been well over 3 months before he met me that he'd had sex with anyone else. Our tests were negative and we proceeded to have unprotected non-ejaculatory sex several times from May to roughly June. Turns out I contracted high-risk HPV from him (I'd had a few negative HPV/DNA tests in the past). I ended up with severe cervical dysplasia (in a matter of 2 months, no less) and had to have LEEP surgery.
Fast forward to now, when as a result of having unprotected ejaculatory sex ONE TIME...I'm pregnant. This happened in mid-November. We had sex one other time, unprotected with ejaculation at the beginning of this month. Well all of a sudden, I'm finding myself overcome with worry and thinking "what have I done?" Obviously, there are trust issues between us, mainly my issue trusting him. I'm just scared he either doesn't accurately remember when the last time he had sex before me was. He's agreed to go get tested again but I'm too scared. I'm terrified we're positive. Dr. Bob please help me!
Response from Dr. Frascino
I don't understand your fears or mistrust of your boyfriend.
You both got HIV tested in April and the results were negative. You subsequently developed HPV from having unprotected sex that you both agreed to. This resulted in cervical dysplasia, for which you underwent LEEP surgery. So why are you so distrustful of your beau? You were tested for HIV, not HPV! Most likely he was totally unaware of his HPV infection (I assume). Negative HIV tests give you information about HIV and only HIV. Unprotected sex still leaves you vulnerable to other STDs.
Regarding your pregnancy, this, of course, is also a result of your unprotected sexual activities. Please note it takes two to do the commando sexual-tango!
If you have "trust issues" with your partner, you should work them out, perhaps with the help of a couples' counselor.
Finally, what's all this nonsense about being "too scared" to get HIV tested. Don't be ridiculous. If you're old enough to be doing the mattress mambo and old enough to have a baby, you're certainly old enough to be responsible for your health. Get tested! A single rapid HIV test at the three-month mark will provide you with a conclusive and definitive result. Knowledge is power. Being "too scared" to test is not at all helpful.
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