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You have a responsibility to give bad news too!
Dec 13, 2006

I'm getting very worried that you haven't responded to my previous questions. I'm thinking that you dont want to give me the bad news. But in doing so there are other people being put at risk, i.e. my wife! Please help me. My question is as follows: 3 years ago I had a one night stand with girl of unknown status. The next day I had a pinprick rash on both of my upper thighs that over the course of the next 2 weeks spread into a raised rash and disappeared. 2 weeks after the incident I had flu like symptoms for a weekend. I have been tested with the Elisa test on 3 months 6 months and 20 months. All negative. I just want to get on with my life but lately I've been having bad gum disease, permanent floaters in both eyes, mouth ulcers, itchy skin all over and my mind feels very foggy a lot of the time. You always say that after testing negtaive outside the window period, any symptoms cannot be from HIV. But you also mention that some people, a tiny minority, never produce antibodies. But surely these people tested negative outside the window period but had HIV all along. I really need your help. My wife and I are hoping to start a family soon but I cant while I still havethese fears. Do you think that I should try to get another test, one that looks for the virus and not the antibodies. Please please please respond, I will send a donation.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

"You have a responsibility to give bad news, too!" Hmmm . . . I very nearly hit the delete button when I read the title of your post. Let's make one thing perfectly clear. My "responsibility" is to provide science-based factual HIV/AIDS prevention and safer-sex information. Period. To imply my not responding to your question is somehow putting your wife at risk for HIV, because you had a one-night stand three years ago is egregious not to mention annoying! I can assure you I do not shy away from delivering unwelcome news. Try this, for instance. I have no intention of even considering answering your question until you resubmit it with not only an apology but also an honest statement that you've leveled with your wife about your sexcapade three years ago. After all, "you have a responsibility to give bad news, too!" especially when it is your indiscretion that is at the root of the problem.

Dr. Bob



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