|WOOHOO!! how the fear of HIV screwed my life
Nov 26, 2006
i just got back from the clinic!! my primary reason for going was a nutrient count. anyway since i was there i figured, ill ask him about my nodes..i ask him about the one in my neck.. I COULD OF SWORN IT WAS SWOLLEN!!! it was mushy and about .8 cm in diameter! 2mm off the 1 CM mark. he said it was nothing. then i made some bogus story about how i started going to the gym and i felt some lumps in my breast when i was showering, he checked that too.. normal, then asked him to check my groin... he was now onto me and said: oh my god, not another one of you! ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT HIV?! embarrassed i admited i was. so he was like allright lets start from the top, and asked me questions, and then proceeded to check my body nodes, he looked at me and said: ok u had sex unprotected with a wild party girl... uve had no symptoms, ur lymph nodes are totally fine, theyre just a little bigger than average but theyre totally normal in size and texture. he then told me he was 99.99% sure that i was negative, but if it wasnt enough we'd run ONLY 1 oraquick.. so we did.. 20 mins later... i was crying tears of joy... you see, when i had cheated on my GF, i was too embarassed to tell her so.. so i had broken up with her.. after 5 years, she thinks i need space.. she got her space and is now dating a guy i could never compete with... now im here, alone as fuck, and enraged that i allowed the fear of HIV to control me... it took me 8 months to get tested.. in these 8 months, ive had zero sex, i've lost a woman who i wanted (and still do) to marry,have kids and grow old together.. i lost ost of my friends, ive lost pretty much everything.. all for what?? fear... if ur scared, grab ur balls by the hand and get tested... dont wait, itll only fuck you psychologically, socially and even physically (i started making up symptoms). just get tested.. the odds are in ur favor whether ur gay or not..just do it.. itll make ur life better.. even if u test positive at least ull know, ull know what ur options are instead of being in the dark waiting to get AIDS before u go to the hospital. just because of fear.. dont let the fear control u.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Thanks for taking the time to write in and share your experience. I certainly hope those reading your story will do as you say and not as you did!
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