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Nov 17, 2006

Hi Dr Bob,

I have checked the archives but cannot find anything which matches what I have done.

In a swinger club a man came into a womans mouth, I then stood over her and masturbated, it did take me a while to cum but I then came into her mouth, she then sucked my penis for about 5-10 secs. I don't know how much of the mans semen was still in her mouth but when I took my penis out, it felt very wet when I wiped it. This was two weeks ago.

The next day I noticed my skin had broken on the shaft of my penis as a scab had formed, I did not know this at the time as I was so drunk. I am worried that the previous guys semen has got into me via this cut? 5 days later, I had pains in my arm pits. I have had these pains for over a week now. I went to a clinic and was tested for gonareah and chlymidia which came up fine. They said my glands under my arm pits were not swollen but do they have to be to still have pain?

I am putting two and two together and thinking this is a sero conversion.

To make matters worse, I am married and my wife does not know.

I am scared beyond belief as I know I cannot have a test yet.

Please help me and advise me.

Thanks Dr Bob.


ps how do I donate, will my credit card here in England work?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Stu,

When you put two and two together, you should get four, not "seroconversion!" Your HIV risk is so remote as to be negligible.

Your problem is not HIV, but rather guilt and irrational fear.

My advice:

1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

2. If you remain worried, get a single HIV rapid test at the three-month mark. Accurate results are available in just 20 minutes. You can use latex condoms in the interim for an extra level of protection with your wife until your test confirms what I very strongly suspect: you are HIV negative.

Regarding donations to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation, sure, credit cards should work from anywhere. Just go to the Foundation's Web site at and click on the Donate tab and follow the instructions. If you have any difficulties, you can contact the Foundation via email at

Thank you for your willingness to help others.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Being GAY
In need of advice.

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