Your wise advice...
Nov 12, 2006
Dear Dr. Bob:
I have gotten so much from reading this site. I truly believe in all your wise advice and have even gone as far as putting it to good use. As a result, I volunteer at HIV clinics and send regular donations to your charity.
For the first time after reading your posts for three years, I have a question I would like answered. Your wise advice would mean so much.
I consider myself a 30 year old gay man. Over the past 10 years, I have engaged in over 100 (probably a lot more) mutual masturbation sessions and sometimes have been involved in three/foursomes where there is a lot of pre-cum and cum involved. Most of these men I dont know well. We have stroked ourselves as well as mutually stroked each other. I have never let a man give me oral sex and I have been afraid to perform oral sex although (as you can imagine) I dream about it. Obviously, anal sex was never a consideration.
Ive been paranoid since I was an adolescent of getting HIV and work with a therapist because I recognize this is a problem. I have been put on Lexapro, but still have this tremendous fear.
Perhaps because I hold you in high regard, I need your wise answer regarding the level of risk I have encountered. Do I need testing? Because I have always been so scared of HIV, I dont want to put myself through unnecessary stress, but will if you advise me to do so. I am hoping your answer will give the insights I need to move on with my life.
Dr. Bob, I wont take up anymore of your time. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Undoubtedly, there is a special place for you in heaven someday. You truly are one in a million and I hope you recognize this within yourself.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Mutual masturbation, even in groups, is not considered a risk for HIV transmission! Do you need HIV testing if all you do sexually is burp the nephew??? Nope! You can wank your willy (and your buddy's as well) without worry, OK? There are safe sex clubs, such as S. F. Jacks that have been around for years and are dedicated exclusively to lending a buddy a safe and helping hand.
I do suggest you continue to work with your therapist to overcome any irrational fears that might prevent you from enjoying the sizzle of hot safe sex.
Thanks for your kind words and donations!
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