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Clinic Refused to Test ????? (so I went Private)

Nov 3, 2006

Dr. Bob:

Firstly can you advise how I can post a donation, (you will see why later in this thread)

Secondly I made a crazy mistake last week I paid 150 for a private test just over four months after exposure, and guess what it was NEGATIVE for HIV1/HIV2/P24 AG, do you think I need some kind of councilling now this this testing obsession?

Just cannot let this go and feel only way I can resolve is to test again at six months...

Even the Private Clinic have now expressed they would feel guilty taking my money and stressed with my risk coupled with SEVEN NEGATIVE HIV tests out to four months + a lottery WIN is more likely !!!

They would not even look at my rash - which I have to admit p*ssed me off.

They stressed that currently on the NHS in the UK, (major cities only, i.e. London / Manchester) they use three different assays for EVERY blood test and also throw in a rapid test for good measure, (which they do NOT do at the private clinics) apparently they all have different abilities at detecting various strains, reaction to primary acute infection, sensitivity etc, so they use what they consider to be the Top Three:

Abbot, (HIV1/2/P24) Genescreen, (HIV1/2) Vidas Duo, (HIV1/2/P24) Insit Rapid

This may prove useful information for any other UK worried wells.

So in thoery I could say I have had around x30 tests - I am starting to think I will never be able to let this GO !!

Hence I would prefer to donate 150 to your organisation rather than waste it on further testing, as I think a lottery win is a slim chance.

I feel such a failure currently, I took your advice and admitted the incident to my wife, she has totally forgiven me and just wishes I could get back to my usual self, she even wants sex with me again - but I just cannot get the old pecker hard through worry of infecting my devoted spouse...

I would appreciate your honest opinionon whether a six month test is crazy and that I am HIV -

Thanks, Simon.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Simon,

I'm quite sure you already know what I'm going to advise. Seven negative HIV tests (using multiple assays no less!) out to four months are definitive and conclusive. HIV is not your problem. No way! No how!

Your irrational HIV fears and anxiety should not make you feel like a failure, as these are legitimate medical conditions in their own right. As such, they need treatment with counseling and perhaps even medications, depending on the severity.

Leveling with your wife was definitely the correct thing to do to confront your guilt and remove some of the stress surrounding this situation. I'm delighted she has totally forgiven you and is now being supportive. Give her a big hug from me, OK? Your sexual-dysfunction problems will resolve once your unwarranted HIV fears are conquered.

Simon, the best way to stop perseverating on and pursuing HIV, a disease you could not possibly have, is to address and treat the very real medical conditions you definitely do have irrational HIV fear and anxiety. I strongly urge you to seek the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Show your therapist this post and my response. It will help focus your therapy. It may also be worthwhile for your wife to attend some or all of the sessions with you. Together you can and will overcome this problem.

Thank you for your generous offer to make a donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. Donation information can be found on the foundation's Web site at Just click on the "Donate" tab. I'm quite confident you'll feel much better knowing the money is being used for crucial patient services rather than being "wasted" on unnecessary and excessive testing. Helping others in desperate need is an excellent way to keep our own problems in their proper perspective. It's also a great way to rack up some excellent cosmic karma from the higher powers! On behalf of the struggling HIV-positive folks who will be touched by your generosity, please accept my heartfelt thanks.

So was I correct? You already knew everything I said above, didn't you? Of course you did!!!

Be well. Stay safe. Remember HIV is not your problem!

Dr. Bob

Bleeding Gums and Toothbrush
ORAsure, I'm pretty sure, but I wanna be MORE sure...

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