Dear Dr. Bob,

I was getting a hot lap dance, and in the heat of the moment, the girl got on top of me and pushed her crotch into my face. Although she was still wearing her panties (or a G-string, hard to tell the difference), I think I felt it with my face that she was wet, and small part of that fluid got on my lips. Risk-wise, is that still a lap dance with no-risk, or does it carry the risk of oral sex? I didn't finger her, kept my tongue inside my mouth, she was partly clothed... I don't even know if the wetness I felt was sweat or a vaginal fluid. Am I at risk? Do I need a test or do I need to run for PEP? Please, doctor. I don't know where to turn and the thought that I may be infected and dangerous to someone I love, almost makes me faint where I stand... or sit... Your answer is much appreciated. Thank you. I promise to get money and donate.

Anxious Jack.

Hello Anxious Jack,

Well technically speaking it would be difficult to qualify a face-full of g-stringed stripper crotch as a "lap" dance, due to the geographical distance between these two anatomical structures (face and lap). However, your HIV risk, or perhaps more accurately HIV non-risk, remains the same.

Do you need to run for PEP? No. Your risk is nonexistent, so no need to run, walk, swim or cha-cha-cha for PEP, OK?

Relax, Jack. You're fine.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob