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Hey Dr. Bob, Please Respond!
Oct 16, 2006

Hey Dr. Bob:

If what I'm asking is ridiculous, then you can simply reply with a "Smack" and I'll know all I needed was a smack upside the head to get some sensibility into my mind.

Here's the deal. I left work the other day and had a weird, clear glob of something on the inside of my driver's window. I Didn't notice it right away, but when I did I freaked out. If it was some risky fluid, am I at risk at all? Also, went to a friends house, moved his sweatshirt to sit on the coach, and noticed there was what looked like wet seminal fluid on it, is there any risk if I touched it? I have really dry hands this time of year and they keep cracking open at the knuckles, so i'm worried that may have been an opening for exposure. Finally, he kept coughing over the plates we used for dinner. If he got some saliva with blood on one of the plates, would I be at risk for of transmission? I am missing a crown and have bleeding gums.

Could you please respond, I know you're busy and this may seem ridiculous, but it worries me none the less. Again a simple "Smack" will do if I have nothing to worry about. I wish you the best. Take Care.

- Worried on the West Coast

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Worried,

What up with your overactive imagination seeing gobs of man-juice spunk everywhere???? Do you live in a brothel and work at a sperm bank? OK, on to your whacked-out worries:

1. Weird clear glob of gook on inside of driver's window??? SMACK!

2. Wet seminal fluid under sweatshirt on the "coach" (coach????) Bitch-slap!

3. Coughing on dinner plates??? Kick in the gluteus maximus!!!

Dude, it's time for you to get some professional help for these irrational fears. The next thing you know, you'll start thinking a U.S. senator is IM-ing you with sexually explicit messages asking you to measure your tallywacker . . . . Oh, hmmm . . . OK, strike that. But do still get some counseling, OK?

Dr. Bob



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