|Ready to start dating again - need advice please
Oct 1, 2006
Hello wonderful doctor Bob,
I got divorced 1.5 years ago and only had one "sexual" experience since then. I made out (kissing, touching only) with a woman and then I freaked out over the kissing. Your site helped calm my fears "a kiss is just a kiss" and I started seeing a therapist for help.
I think I am better now.
Ok so now I want to start dating.
Kissing is ok. Sex -Wear a condom. OK. But I'm Italian and for me its not just about kissing and wearing a condom. I am a whole body experience type. I love giving oral sex to women also. I know dental dam. I am ok with wearing a condom - but a dental dam? Talk about a mood killer. And at what point do I just trust someone if they tell me that they are negative?
I know, tough question. And I think I know the answer - depends on the amount of risk I want to take. But you are so smart, I figure maybe you can give me some more info.
Oh - and right on about answering that suicide dude the way you did. Even before I got to your answer I was like "this guys a Fing Ahole!"
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Hi Ready to Start Dating Again,
At what point do you just trust someone if they tell you they are negative? Good question. There is no absolute answer. In general it's best to assume all your sex partners could be HIV positive. Remember 25% of HIV-positive Americans have no idea they are even infected!
Dental dams do work, but in reality they aren't all that popular. And you are correct, only you can decide how much risk you are willing to accept. Cunnilingus carries an extremely minimal HIV risk in general. (See below.)
I agree sex is a whole body experience. Italians are perfectly manufactured for just such experiences. (Lucky, aren't we???)
Good luck, you Italian Stallion you.
Tonsils and Oral Sex (CUNNILINGUS)
Sep 30, 2006
You are definitely a person admirable character. I have just donated $50 to your wonderful foundation. I wish I could afford more at this time, but money is very tight on my end with my graduate school studies. Like everyone else, I have a question for you.
I performed unprotected oral sex on a woman of unknown status about 2 weeks ago. I purposely avoided unprotected intercourse because of its risk. However, I am know concerned about this oral sex episode. I have recently developed enlarged tonsils and my tests for sterp have been negative. I have a sore throat which is understandable, but no other symptoms. I have tried to use your past answers of similar exposures to help ease my anxiety. But there is just something about hearing it directly from you.
Have you ever seen a person with whose only exposure was unprotected oral sex on a woman test positive for HIV?
I hope that your good health will continue to remain. I promise I shall make another donation later on this year.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Unprotected cunnilingus on a woman of unknown HIV serostatus carries only a negligible risk for HIV transmission. (See below.) To answer your specific question, nope!
Thanks for your kind comments and donation.
Stop worrying! If you can't stop worrying, get tested at the three-month mark, but do realize the primary reason to do so would be to put your unwarranted fears permanently to rest, OK?
Good luck. Stay well.
Oral Sex and HIV
Feb 18, 2006
i have just stumbled on this site, and would like your opinion, on jan 1st 2006 i had protected vaginal sex with a prostitute, but i performed unprotected oral sex on her, before i performed she whiped her virgina and when performing oral sex i could taste no secretion or menstural blood, immediately afterwards i realised what a rediculous thing i had done and became increasingly paranoid about the possibility of HIV infection, on the 3rd of Jan i started on 28 PEP course, what do you think my chances of having HIV are, alot of other sites i have been on say Cunnilingus is Low risk, some say no risk, quantatively what is this risk? i am due to go for an HIV test at the end of march and am petrified of the result, many thanks
Response from Dr. Frascino
She "whiped her virgina?" Would that be "whiped" as in whipped or "whiped" as in wiped? And would that be "virgina" as in Virginia or "virgina" as in vagina? I would assume "whipped" and "Virginia" are out, because nothing kinky ever happens in that state. The risk of HIV transmission from cunnilingus is extremely low. I'll post a question from the recent archives that addresses this problem. (See below.)
I do not believe PEP was warranted for your potential exposure. There is no reason to be "petrified" of your HIV test results. I see nothing but good news heading in your direction. I suggest you begin practicing your WOO-HOOs!
Cunnilingus - no blood, good oral healt Jan 12, 2006
Dear Dr. Bob,
Just sent a donation of 200 dollares - thanks fo you help - people need it and now i feel i need too
You had answered a number of questions related to the risk of cunnilingus. I was engaged in one 2 months ago but no blood was involved and my oral helth is ok. The experience was with the mistress and when i asked her afterwards she told me she is DD free .What concerns me that you mentioned once that the probability of getting HIV in this case 0.5 per 10000 cases. doest it mean that there is 1 possible transmission in 20000 cases. a number of cunnilinguses given is much more then that and there are no documented cases so far. How do these 2 things reconcile? I am still concerned although i understand i should not be....you know...
How is it possible generally to get HIV via giving cunnilingus in case when there is no blood and my oral health seems to be in order. Appreciate your reply.
I have another general question re the symptoms...
It seems that in case there are symptoms there are ususally more then one should be present based on the statistics you posted earlier.
Appreciate your reply
Thanks for the help
Response from Dr. Frascino
The estimated statistical per-episode risk of 0.5 per 10,000 exposures for unprotected oral intercourse refers to fellatio (oral sex performed on a man), not cunnilingus. The cunnilingus figure would be much less. In fact, it's so small it's difficult to quantitate. There are only very few cases of HIV transmission resulting from performing oral sex on a woman that have been reported to the CDC. Considering we've been monitoring this epidemic for over two decades, that alone is excellent evidence that the HIV-transmission risk through cunnilingus is extremely low. There are a number of scientific hypotheses as to why this is true, but the bottom line remains the same: it's an extremely low-risk activity. (Note: the risk increases if the woman is menstruating and/or the person performing cunnilingus has oral mucous membrane sores, abrasions or inflammation.)
Regarding your second question, ARS can be quite variable in scope, number and severity of symptoms. However, yes, generally more than a single symptom is present.
Thanks for your generous donation!
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