Update: The Whole Story
Sep 29, 2006
Remember Me? The guy whose birthday comes around every other year and the time at which I would partake in my own little sex fest to celebrate (unprotected oral/ protected vaginal intercourse) with a pro (this time the 34DD(enhanced)-24-34 hot-looking-redhead. Or should I say germ factory). If you recall I was diagnosed and treated for gonorrhea, (also Mono) and to answer your question, I had, at the time, leveled with my wife. She was given the treatment for the Gonorrhea and Chlamydia as well. We havent of yet had any couples counseling and am hoping we wont need it, as I have vowed never to stray again. And NO I am not one of those manipulative pricks. This truly has changed me (for anyone who is wondering).
You would have been appalled though by the hell that I put her through over the last 3.5 months. There were several moments when she said get the *F* out of her and my two rear old daughters life. If you could have witnessed the sheer madness and pain that I bestowed, you would have had me committed (I wish somebody did!). There where a few occasions where I would call her from a parking lot. I would be in my car suffering from a nervous-breakdown and shivering with fear for the suicidal tendencies I had. There were times when I would sit down in front of her with the most utterly gut-wrenching, god-please-take-me-now feelings and spit out stupid slurs of Im doomed were doomed and Im sorry. It was truly pitiful. It seemed like no one else would listen to me when I did seek professionals (excluding you) for help. When I would reveal that I was there to see them for fear of HIV, they would almost immediately place me in the worried well category and dismiss me. Unfortunately my wife was the only other one that new of the situation and I could only look to her to talk me down. I continued to demolish everything with these types of private crack-ups. Friends, family and co-workers began asking questions. What the hell is going on with Mark? I spent weeks walking around like a zombie with only the thought of HIV on my mind. Constantly searching the internet for shit about the window period, symptoms, and anything my pea-brain could conjure relating to HIV. Everyday, for the last sixteen weeks glaring at my laptop screen and researching (OCD Hell). I think by now, Ive been schooling my doc on HIV.
Well, it has all come to a head. As you expected, here are the results of my last three HIV tests. Yes three, quit it, I know!
Wednesday August 23, 2006 Twelve weeks after possible exposure. ELISA (On-Line site through Labcorp). NEGATIVE
Tuesday September 12, 2006 Fourteen weeks + 6 days after possible exposure. Oraquick Advance (finger) . NEGATIVE
Monday September 25, 2006 Sixteen weeks + 5 days after possible exposure. HIV antibody w/reflex (my Doctor). NEGATIVE HEP A,B,C. NEGATIVE
You dont have to say it, I will stop testing. Well, at least for a few months until after six months have past.
I had been so convinced that I was HIV positive. And I still have these damn symptoms that wont go away - Sore throat, chunky white coating on the back of my tongue, swollen neck lymph nodes (and some-what painful), and mouth ulcers and mouth sores that are now painful. My doctor sees all of these and acknowledges their presence (she thinks the ones on my lips are Fordyce Spots, which I concur). Even my dentist/ hygienist wouldnt do my cleaning because of the sores. Everyone is blaming stress, but I cant imagine the body having that much ability to mimic disease just by stress. I mean, dont get me wrong I am expecting your WOO-HOO approval and if you stick your head out the window tonight you might hear me yelling WOO-HOO from across the country. I just wish this would all end. The symptoms that is For now I am getting on and rebuilding what I have broken down in my life.
By the way, I made the first of many donations to the concerted effort and I will never look at HIV the same again. I felt so alone, well except for my wife and your forum, that what ever I can do to help and comfort, I will. This experience was horribly amazing in a weird sort of way.
Kind-of off the subject. I believe that you are a fan of different music genres. If you havent already heard the music of Sigur Ros, I highly recommend them. I love their melodic and depressed but blissfull at the same time, style. Its very therapeutic. Try them out. I also read that their lead vocalist is gay. See, even us straight folk have taste and style, just our dicks make us dumb sometimes.
Thanks for the Karma! Mark PS - If youre ever in Detroit, I would like to take you out for a steak dinner.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Yes, I definitely remember you! I'm still waiting for you to teach me that neat trick about birthdays that only come around every other year!!!
Thank you for writing in with "The Whole Story." Yes, indeed, I did hear your WOO-HOO last night and I didn't even have to open the window, let alone stick my head out.
I strongly agree with your decision to stop testing and start WOO-HOOing!
Thanks for your donation and the tip on Sigur Ros. "Melodic and depressed but blissful . . ."??? Hmmm . . . interesting combination. I'll check them out.
Finally yes, indeed, straight folks can have taste and style. And with enough taste and style, they become metrosexuals. And as far as dumb dicks go, they are universal. Just look at our Vice President, for example an extreme example of a dumb Dick, indeed!
Stay well, Mark!
The Whole Story
Aug 19, 2006
I have written a few times before about my situation. I am a 32 year old male. I am married with a two year old daughter. I love both of them with all my heart and would never want to intentionally bring fright to them (Although it seems I managed too). My wife is a loving, caring women and I may have destroyed the most promising life I could imagine.
I know many people have vices. Some do drugs, smoke and some drink alcohol. While I have sampled some recreational drugs, tobacco and alcohol, my main vice is sex. About the time my birthday comes around every other year I would get antsy to try someone different than my wife. Terrible, huh! I have had about five of these experiences over the course of about ten years. I happen to have found a self-described prestigious dating service on-line. I am not sure if $300 an hour is considered upscale but the photos of the woman were pretty exact to what I saw. 34DD(enhanced)-24-34 hot-looking-redhead. I guess the excitement of doing something deviant had its stimulation as well. But how long could I expect to go on doing it without an incident like this.
On May 31, 2006, I recieved 10 to 15 min. of unprotected oral sex from the female sex worker and brief protected vaginal intercourse. I pulled out and remember pulling off what I believe to be an intact condom and ejaculated on her breasts. Rested for a little while and then received another session of unprotected oral sex and sex with her breast to which I ejaculated on again. After the second orgasm I took a shower. From this encounter I contracted gonorrhea, which I can only assume came from her throat. A little over a month after I was diagnosed with mono by a + mono spot. (The prostitute and I did do some brief light French kissing. Is that enough to pass mono or can it be sexually transmitted?). I asked the Dr. if it was EBV or CMV and she thought the mono spot only detected EBV. So who knows about CMV. Also I have experienced every symptom in the book. Swollen glands, sore throat (+ strep), mouth ulcers and sores, lip ulcers and herpe like small blisters in the corners, sharp pains everywhere, numb toe, limbs falling asleep more often, a period of night sweats and diarrhea, AST/ALT elevated (has gone down on last test), over-all ill feeling. Of course the mono can be blamed for everything as well as the stress and anxiety. My tests were as follows:
1. Friday, June 9, 2006 One Week +2 Days after possible exposure. HIV antibody w/reflex (my Doctor). NEGATIVE HEP A,B,C. NEGATIVE
2. Friday, June 16, 2006 - Two Weeks +2 Days after possible exposure. HIV PCR DNA (On-line site through Labcorp). NEGATIVE
3. Monday, June 26, 2006 Three Weeks +5 Days after possible exposure. HIV PCR DNA (On-Line site through Labcorp). NEGATIIVE
4. Thursday, July 6, 2006-Five Weeks +1 Day after possible exposure. HIV PCR DNA and ELISA (On-Line site through Labcorp). NEGATIVE
5. Monday, July 24, 2006-Seven Weeks +5 Days after possible exposure. HIV antibody w/reflex (my Doctor). NEGATIVE HEP A,B,C. NEGATIVE
6. Thusrday July 27, 2006-Eight Weeks +1 Day after possible exposure. HIV PCR DNA and ELISA (On-Line site through Labcorp). NEGATIVE
I know this is classic worried well syndrome, but I can barely stand this anxiety and stress over what I have done and how this would affect our life. I have read through these archives continuously looking for situations similar to mine. I can expect the usual three month waiting period, and the HIV PCR DNA not-recommended response, but honestly, what do you make of these test results? I am still going to go to my doctor for a three month test (and 6 mos). Should I go in at exactly the twelve week mark, in-between 12-13 weeks or exactly thirteen weeks? I know I am crazy. My doctor did prescribe me lexapro and niravam for the depression and anxiety. Your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated and youre probably thinking what a waste of money on the HIV PCR DNA test. I read so many different opinions on this test, pros and cons. Each time I read cons I freak. I promise to donate the amount I spent on the tests to your foundation (over time, I do need to recoup). You are a great guy and caring doctor, I am sorry that HIV has inflicted your life. As one of your previous forum writers put it Do we really need another disease, isnt cancer and all the others enough. Especially when you can get this-a life ending disease, from something as great as sex. Gonnorhea would have been good enough for me to change my life. Your thoughts and karma are greatly appreciated, and I will update you on my outcomes. Thank you.
Response from Dr. Frascino
OK, so you are not a saint. Who the hell is? Yes, you've "sampled some recreational drugs, tobacco, and alcohol" and OK, your "main vice is sex." Just as an aside, tell me about " . . . my birthday comes around every other year . . . ."! That sounds great. How can I get mine to do that? Gosh, if I knew how to do that trick, I'd still be in my twenties (instead of just acting like I'm in my twenties). OK, back to your problem . . . . Your every-other-year-birthday sexcapades followed safer sexual practices for which you should be commended! (No points for stepping out on the Mrs., but at least you tried to do it safely.)
It's unfortunate that 34DD-redhead turned out to be a high-priced germ factory. Yes, indeed, I agree you contracted gonorrhea from her throat and mono from the "brief light French kissing." (Mono is frequently referred to as "the kissing disease.") You are also correct that your "every symptom in the book" can be attributed to these two illnesses. One point to stress is that both gonorrhea and mono are much more easily contracted than HIV.
Turning now to your numerous HIV tests (yes, I would call it excessive), you've had three negative HIV-antibody tests out to eight weeks and four negative DNA PCR tests out to eight weeks. Since you obviously have already thoroughly mastered my advice pertaining to (1) the three-month waiting period to get a definitive ELISA result and (2) PCR testing not being recommended for routine HIV screening, I won't bother to reiterate it again in detail here other than to say those tenets still hold, so consider them said, OK? As for HIV DNA PCR testing, it's a qualitative test used to detect cell-associated proviral DNA. It is not considered to be sufficiently accurate for HIV diagnosis without confirmation. Regarding your question about 12-, 12.5- or 13-week tests, it really makes no difference in this case. Your HIV risk unprotected oral sex- is extremely low and your myriad of tests to date is extraordinarily encouraging that you did not contract HIV from Miss Redhead Double D.
It does appear you are experiencing considerable anxiety, depression and guilt over this entire issue. I'd recommend some counseling to help you confront these very real medical problems. I'm assuming you've leveled with your wife. If not, I'd recommend that as well for multiple reasons: (1) she may need to be checked for gonorrhea and mono and (2) it's the right thing to do.
Depending on how she's handling this situation, couples counseling may help to patch things up between you, as you obviously love your wife and your family very much.
Thank you for your kind comments and donation. In return I'm sending you my very best good-luck/good-health karma (it hasn't failed yet!) that your definitive HIV test at three months confirms what I very strongly suspect: that you are HIV negative. I'll look forward to officially WOO-HOO-ing with you soon. OK?
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