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paranoid to the extreme
Sep 26, 2006

Hi doctor, im a 25 year old male who has always been paranoid about HIV i belive it or not am still a virgin ive never had sex or performed any sexual acts . About thre months ago i went to Italy were i went to a strip club and i got a lap dance during this lapdance the girl she played with her vagina she did not stick her finger in she just rubbed it a little then she played with her breasts afterwards i proceeded to sucking on her breasts and her nipples i did not touch her vagina but i think she sat on my hand i dont remember i also dont remember if i had a small cut on my finger or not, but she finished her dance and i left after i got back to my hotel i realized what i had done so i washed all my clothes and i took a very long shower. I took an hiv rapid test the finger prick test which is supposed to be 99.6% accurate i took it at the 2 1/2 month mark . i just have two questions 1) i plan to get tested soon what do you think are my odds for testing negative 2) i fell like everything that i went to italy wiht is somehow infected with HIV can you tell me if hiv can live on clothes or wallets or cell phones i realize im very paranoid i have sought medical mental help ,, just please help me out a little and give m a straight answer i would love to help out your cause also monetarily,, thank you.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

A 25-year-old male virgin traveling in Italy . . . and you made it home without dipping your salami in the pasta sauce? Hmmm . . . wow, you either have amazing willpower or look as sexually unappealing as scowling scary Cheney. Either way, both you and Cheney certainly are living up to your moniker, "paranoid to the extreme."

1. Your odds of contracting HIV from your Mambo Italian Badda Bing experience are exactly zero! Yep, that's right zero, zip, nada, zilch!

2. No, nutsy, HIV did not contaminate all your stuff, just because an Italian signora with bodacious ta-tas bounced on your lap. Think about it. If HIV were that easy to transmit, it would have wiped out the entire planet (Italy first!) long, long ago.

I'm glad you are seeking psychological help, as that is certainly where your problem lies.

Thanks for your offer to help others in need. (www.concertedeffort.org)

Do try to stop worrying. Your fears are completely unwarranted, OK?

Dr. Bob



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