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Sep 20, 2006

Hello Dr. Bob, thank you so much for your response to my earlier question (I posted it below for reminding). You have given me so much tranquility with your answer. It is obvious to me that you are doing a very essential job in helping ease some of the irrational fears by demystifying the disease. By going through this irrational fear I became aware of the disease in a different way and feel a lot more empathy for the people suffering from it and the stigma associated with it. I would like to pledge $500 to your foundation anonymously (money order). Please send me the address and the institution or person to make it payable to. I shall mail it as soon as I have it. I do have a follow up question(s) and would really appreciate your answer. Once answered I will make it a point NOT to think about it anymore. 1) You mentioned that the risk was non-existent for a lap dance in which there was possible vaginal secretion and possible blood from her to my underwear. I recently went to the doctor because I developed two small warts and he determined that they were possible genital warts. He asked me about my sexual past and I informed him that I was monogamous for 9 years with the exception of the heated lap dance. He told me that he didnt see me getting the warts from that incident, but that it was possible. He further said that for HIV needed to have a compromise in the integrity of the skin in order for it to occur in that situation. Considering that I got warts does that make you change your mind about my risk level of a lap dance that grinded my underwear covered genitals? 2) Is a break of the integrity of the skin necessarily a cut? Can it be just an irritation on the shaft of the penis? 3) Would a think level of clothing (underwear) actually kill the HIV virus? 4) Is HPV a lot easier to get, considering that it is also a virus, than HIV? 5) What are my chances doc? 1/100 0r 1/10,000. Care to speculate? 6) Do you see a need for an HIV test? I intend to put this whole thing behind me and go on with my life. By the way since your last response I have stopped obsessing as much. I am about 80% cured of my irrational fears. God bless your Dr.

Previous message below:

Please please I am going crazy with uncertainty. I have read ALL your lap dance writings. However, I feel my circumstance might be different because the grinding from her g-string directly to my underwear left my underwear wet from her and think there might have been possible spots of blood on the OUTSIDE of my underwear (perhaps the stripper was on her period, last day or first). What are my chances doc. My penis was always inside my underwear but since I had an erection I felt that perhaps her secretions might have filtered in my underwear. I have been in a monogomous relationship for 9 years with 0 infidelities and I am feeling awfully guilty . Please help. I check your posting at least 20 times a day. Thank you Dr. Franscino.

Hello, First off, it's Frascino, not Franscino. But you can just call me Dr. Bob, OK? Next, monogamous relationships for nine years with 0 infidelities? Hmmm . . . do your stained tighty-whities count? Finally, you think your circumstances are "special," because of what exactly??? Oh, because it was your tighty-whities and your throbbing tallywhacker and not the gazillion of others who have written in with nearly identical concerns. I see. Dude, relax! You're fine. I see no HIV risk from your trip to the Badda Bing. Your only problem is your guilt. I suggest you level with your partner. It's the best way to confront and conquer your guilt. Stay well. Stop worrying. Dr. Bob

Response from Dr. Frascino


Thanks for your thanks and kind words.

Responding to your six follow-up questions:

1. No, even with the new information about possible HPV (genital warts), I would not change my risk assessment for HIV.

2. This is pure semantics, but a break in the skin does not necessarily have to be a cut. It could be an excoriation or anything that "breaks" the skin.

3. BVDs don't kill HIV. But the chance of HIV from a lap dancer's vaginal secretions getting through your tighty whities and your skin (irritated or not) is so remote that it is essentially nonexistent.

4. HPV is much, much easier to contract than HIV.

5. No, I cannot speculate, because the number would be so small as to be essentially nonexistent (like your risk)!

6. Not for medical reasons; however, for psychological reasons, yes. I believe you are so freaked out by this non-exposure that the most effective and efficient way for you to put your unwarranted irrational HIV fears permanently to rest is to get an HIV test at the three-month mark. It will undoubtedly be negative. I'm hopeful it will "cure" that residual 20% of irrational worries!

Thank you for your generous donation. The money order should be made out to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation and sent to:

The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation 1000 Fremont Ave., Suite 145 Los Altos, CA 94024

Per your wishes, it will be an anonymous gift. Rest assured your one gift will touch many lives. Generosity and compassion, such as this, is rewarded with excellent cosmic karma. To that I'll add my very best good-luck/good-health karma that your HIV test will indeed be negative, as I very strongly believe it will be.

Good luck (although in truth, I really doubt you'll need it!). I'll look forward to your WOO-HOO!

Dr. Bob

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