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I am indeed the first documented case
Sep 9, 2006

Dear Dr.Bob

I am crying while I send you this in hopes to be supported. I had protected vaginal sex with a very very very skanky girl. In my defense She lied about being skanky. She told me she only had sex 3 times with protection. She also told me she gets tested every 3 months. When it's all said and done she is a liar and, she had sex more than 15 times some protected some unprotected. I had protected vaginal sex(no breaks condom worked fine) and, unprotected insertive oral sex. I came in her mouth. No visible cuts or blood in her mouth. Another factor is that I did not shower untill the next day(I was tired) so, vaginal secretions were on my thieghs over night. There were no cuts on my legs(visible). I inspected my thieghs the next day. Since then I know I am infected my symptoms are beyond real. They are so real I still feel them now. 1.Swollen lymph nodes in groin and neck(I mean very swollen and very noticable and i'm a communications student).

2.Sinus pressure in ears and facial pressure.

3.Skin pealing on hands and feet.

4.A serious case of constipation.

5.Darker color urine(I only drink water and juice soda is bad for you).

6.New pimples everywhere and also new moles.

7.Finally my muscles and joints ache so bad I can barelly walk,no joke I mean that.

I am only 20 years old and,I am a very healthy heterosexual young man. I work out and eat right. I always practice protected sex (except oral insertive). I get tested every three months and always have been negative for anything. I am very selective with women, this one slipped under radar(college slut). She has ruined the rest of my life and I can't stop crying. All of these symptoms have happened within the last month and i'm 100% sure its hiv. what will I tell my parents or my family. I don't want too die. The only way I could have got it is if it got thru intact skin or, if I got it from the bj. I have ruined my life and I will never forgive her. Please Dr.Bob tell me this can be related to something else. Will I be able too yell woo hoo in two months(highly doubt it). I will donate 150$ of my own money for helping me. I am scared too death please help me. You are a good person and, I know you want too be the first person too document a new transmission of hiv. Thank you for your help ahead of time. I know u are a very busy man, I hope you can find time for me. I will send the money first thing in the morning. Thanks alot I love you Dr.Bob.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

What, another "first documented case" submitted by someone crying into their laptop???? Jeeeeeeez . . . it must be a full moon or something, because you are like the 5th one today.

Dude, protected sex is protected, no matter how "very, very, very skanky" your skank was. Unprotected insertive oral carries a negligible risk for HIV transmission. Vaginal secretions on intact skin are not a risk. Your symptoms are not suggestive of or worrisome for HIV ARS.

You're 100% sure you have HIV. I, on the other hand, am 100% sure you don't. Care to make a bet on who's right? Will you be able to WOO-HOO when you get your definitive three-month HIV-antibody test? You say you "doubt it." I say absofrickinlutely.

So, first documented case??? Nope! You'll have to look elsewhere for your 15 minutes of fame! Thanks for your willingness to make a tax-deductible gift to help others who were not so lucky to dodge the HIV bullet. Your one gift will touch many lives and rack up some excellent cosmic karma for you. I'll add my good-luck karma to that (even though I honestly don't believe you need it!) in hopes that your three-month definitive test confirms my very strong suspicion that you are HIV negative.

I'll be waiting for that WOO-HOO!

Dr. Bob



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