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Lonely in Paris

Sep 7, 2006

Hi Dr Bob. I had a bit of an 'incident' 11.5 weeks ago where a female performed brief fellatio on me - its the classic case of 11 years faithful, broken in a minute of drunken stupidity! And now the next classic - me worried of infecting my wife! Bet you heard this one a few times eh!?

I was dealing with it ok as I have just been relocated out to Paris from the uk and had a lot to sort before my wife joins me. The anxiety needless to say has been growing steadily (especially after my wife developed a rash and cough 3 weeks ago!)

I guess a combination of me missing her, the 'symptoms' but more likely the guilt - I took a p24 and antibody test at 7.5 and 10 weeks both neg (also screened for everything else-all clear). I have my conclusive 12 week test on Friday, and was feeling pretty ok that it couldnt possibly turn up pos after all this?! That was til today when I woke up with a monster of a sore throat - I know you say symptoms mean nothing, but I am now finding this whole thing very difficult to deal with.

I know you have more needy people to deal with than me (and its another BJ question), but...

1. could ars appear at 11.5 weeks? 2. Have you ever seen somebody convert after 10 week neg (probably a difficult one for you to answer as I know conclusive is 12 weeks) 3. Have you ever seen someone infected from a quick BJ (no blood etc)? 4. I know you say dont self diagnose - but with a slight runny nose come on this afternoon my strong thoughts are this is just a cold - and ars isnt snotty??! 4. Would anybody really believe me if it turned up pos on Friday?!!! 5. Why am i such an idiot? (thats probably an unfair question!)

I really hope you can give me your thoughts - even if not, its kind of helped me by writing this down - I think I can see how paranoid I'm being over this, and it kept me occupied for at least 10 minutes!

Thanks and kind regards from lonely guy in Paris.

Response from Dr. Frascino


"Lonely" in Paris??? How could you be lonely in a city as wonderful and lovely as Paris? I'm sure "the City of Lights" will have a completely different feeling as soon as you get your definitive negative HIV test result on Friday. Yes, I'm quite certain the HIV-test result will indeed be negative.

Addressing your specific questions:

1. Extremely unlikely.

2. I don't recommend people get "10 week" tests, so I can't comment.

3. Nope.

4. I would strongly agree. It's not ARS.

5. It won't happen, so we don't even have to hypothesize on this.

6. You're not. You're just feeling guilty and scared.

My advice is simple:

1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront and conquer your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. Honesty, ultimately, strengthens relationships.

2. Get a rapid HIV test on Friday. It will be negative. Yell WOO-HOO! Or, since you are in Paris, the French equivalent is YOUPI!!!!!!

3. Begin to enjoy Paris, one of my very favorite cities in the galaxy.

Bonne chance!

Dr. Bob

I got my life back and here is my story

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