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I have searched up and down for an answer...

Sep 1, 2006

I have been through this site (and others) with a fine toothed comb and can't find an answer to my dilemna. So I hope you can answer this question for me (I have submitted the same question but need to provide more detail).

I went to a massage parlor and got an erotic massage. We did what I now know is called frottage. I grinded my penis into her vagina for a few minutes. I noticed the next day that I had a herpes sore on my penis that was healing. I have had herpes for many years. Aside from the guilt associated from potentially passing this on (of course, I never would have done this had I noticed it), I am concerned about exposure and getting HIV from this person through the frottage (love that word). Can you pleeeeeaaaasssseee give me your opinion on this?

By the way, I love the humor that you bring to this site even though we are dealing with such a catastrophic disease. It brings a smile through the frowns.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Certainly the risk of your transmitting herpes to your erotic massage mate is far greater than any chance she may have transmitted HIV to you. Frottage per se is not considered a risk for HIV. You need the ol' "in and out" for that. Just like a UPS package: if no one opens the door, the package can't get delivered. However, anytime potentially infectious fluids come into contact with non-intact skin, the possibility for HIV transmission is at least theoretically possible. If the non-intact skin is do to an STD, the HIV risk could potentially increase. Overall, all things considered I would still say your rub-a-dub-dub-bump-and-grind carries an extremely low risk, because we do not know the status of your frottage floozy, your herpes sore was "healing," etc. To be on the safe side, I'd suggest you get a rapid test at the three-month mark. I'll send my good-luck karma that your test is negative.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

thank you for your response
Do they know as much as they say they do?

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