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I hope this will help someone out there
Aug 28, 2006

Hi Doctor Bob

I thought I would just post quickly in the hope that it may give some other worried people out there some reassurance. I am a gay man who, in the past, had a few anonymous oral sex encounters in my younger more naive experimental days. Basically I engaged in both unprotected insertive and receptive oral sex on a number occasions. Recently I moved to Canada with my life partner and was required to have a standard HIV test for my residence permit application. I was confident that my situation had not been a risky one but still allowed my imagination and fears to run crazy. Perhaps it was guilt about my past actions even though we have been entirely open with one another about our sexual history or perhaps I simply allowed myself to succumb to irrational fears based on hazy memories and what-ifs? I am not sure. All I know is that my fear of the impending HIV test drove me to hours of late night Internet searching on the risks of various actions and so on (something I am sure almost everyone in this forum can identify with). Coming across this site was the best thing that could have happened. I read through the archives and past questions relating to my issue and then posted a question for the Doc....just to be sure .... (I know everyone can identify with this ritual too ..... you know?? ... maybe I was different?, maybe I am the one? maybe, maybe, maybe....). To cut a long story short, my test came back negative as was predicted by experts, archives and articles on this and other reputable sites.

I guess I just wanted to say that no matter how much you convince yourself that you have been infected the facts will not change (and if they ever do ... here is the place to find the news in a frank and honest way). The only way to know your status is to test. This may sound a bit high and mighty as my test was a necessity for my residence in Canada, but I promise you I lost a lot of sleep and way too much time worrying about the minimal risk I had. If I had taken the advice given to the literally thousands of other people that have asked the same or similar questions to mine I would have eased my mind long ago. Nevertheless I am stoked!

The experts on any site or at any clinic can only tell you the facts. What you choose to do with that information should rely on what level of risk you are comfortable with. For each person this is different, the main thing is that you do not put anyone else in danger when deciding this. Always respect yourself and your partners.

Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this (if you didn't get too bored halfway through...lol) and thanks and good luck to you Doc, for all your selfless support and advice. I hope that this will help at least one worried well. Listen to the Doc he not only knows his stuff but he really does care.

Cheers everyone Jonathan

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Jonathan,

Thank you for taking the time to write in and share your story, your good news and your insights. I, too, hope it will help folks trapped in Worried-Well Hell. (You know who you are out there!)

WOO-HOO and congratulations on your negative status and moving to Canada with your Royal Canadian Mountie! If the Democrats don't regain control of Congress in November, maybe Steve and I will join you guys!

Be well. Stay well, Jonathan!

Dr. Bob



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