Teen's Encounter with Bisexual
Aug 17, 2006
Hi Dr. Bob,
I came across your column and I like how you write and how nice you are to all the worried people. I would greatly appreciate if you could help me with my problem. I am 17 years old and 3 weeks ago I ended up sneaking out of the house to go to a club with these two guys. Well I got kind of drunk and ended up making out with this guy and doing a few other things(he sucked on my nipples and put his fingers in my mouth and pants). Well 2 days later, my friend told me that the guy I had made out with was bisexual. I thought that was kind of interesting cause I couldn't tell at all, but I didn't think much about it at the time. Well then a week ago, my grandmother read my diary and found out what had happened that night. She flipped out, saying I should get tested for HIV. She said she had read an article saying half of black bisexual men have AIDS(we are all black) and that I could be infected too. Well, Dr. Bob, now I'm really scared. I have been reading all I could about AIDS. I keep thinking about how I broke a glass right before we made out and he cleaned it up. What if he cut his hand(there were big shards) and then when he stuck his finger in my mouth, blood got into a cut in my gums( I have bleeding gums occasionally). And we kissed for like 5 minutes--what if he was bleeding from the mouth? I also think about the nipple sucking but that doesn't appear to be a risk from what I have read in your forum. I do have a few pimples on my chest so could that be a place for blood to go through? I'm sorry if my questions seem ridiculous--I just can't stop thinking about it. I have developed a slight fever and diarrehea in the past few days, and I also have a slight rash on my chest-these sounds like the symptoms of HiV infection that I have read about on this site. Please Dr. Bob, could you find time to tell me what to do. Do I need to get tested? My grandmother is driving me crazy with guilt and worry and now I"m scared to even date another guy. Whatever you say, good or bad, I'm going to show it to her since it's from a doctor. Thanks for your time! I know I did a stupid thing but hopefully I can figure out what to do with your help. Also, I would like to send a donation but do you have to have a credit card? I am too young to get one.
Response from Dr. Frascino
First a couple of comments:
1. You shouldn't be sneaking out of the house to go clubbing and drinking at age 17. I think you've learned your lesson about that.
2. Granny shouldn't be reading your diary. That's your private journal. She was wrong to invade your privacy, even though her intentions were good. I'd suggest you make a deal with Granny. You won't sneak out anymore if she leaves your diary alone. (Alternatively you could get a diary with a lock on it!)
Regarding your grandmother's concern, her statistics regarding the HIV status of black bisexual men is not accurate. However, again her intentions are good. She's concerned about your health and safety, even though she may well be a bit over concerned about the risk of this particular episode. Kissing for five minutes, nipple sucking and putting his fingers in your mouth and pants are not considered significant HIV risks. I do not believe HIV testing is warranted based on these activities. However, if you or even if your granny is worried, HIV testing is always available. You would need to wait for the three-month mark to assure the result was definitive. So even though I do not feel you've had a risk that warrants testing, if it will calm Granny down, you could get a rapid test at three months. The results are available within 20 minutes.
Donation information for The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation can be found on the foundation's Web site at www.concertedeffort.org.
Stay safe. Stay well. Give your granny a hug from me, but do remind her that your diary is off limits, OK?
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