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Been crying myself to sleep. Please, Please answer Robert.

Jul 29, 2006

HI Bob,

I stupidly had sex with a transexual ladyboy around 9 weeks ago. I was the dominant partner. We had sex for around 2 minutes. I wore a condom which was completely in tact with no rips or tears when we finished.

I did touch the condom with my hand to ''finish'' but there didn't appear to be anything abnormal like blood or even fluid

However a few days later and ever since I have been so so so worried that I may have contracted HIV as i have a small Genital wart at the end (the base near my stomach) of my penis which even though the condom was rolled right would probably have still cam in contact with the person in some way. is there such a thing as anal fluid (like vaginal and semen) which carries HIV

How much risk have I put my self at?

I have had some diaorreah 14 days after being with her/him and a touch here and there since but my biggest worry was that my glands under my arms and around my testicles felt as if they were swollen from around 21 days after (although I read this on a site on the net as being a symtom and I am a terrible worrier and am not sure if I subconciously brought it on myself).

I have also vomited twice which i put doon to some bad food I'd eaten in cyprus.

I had kind of relaxed a little about it until I looked at my wrist yesterday and noticed a small purply dot (not really a spot) just ubder my skin. it doesn;t change under pressure. A friend said it would be a lupus possibly.

I also found a small one on my left bottom cheek

Is this a bad sign? I let another friedn see it who said it was probably a bruise from my watch but it hasn't changed in colour or gone brown or yellow so i don't think so.

I will give a donation. can you tell me how to do that and I will right away.

many thanks Dr Robert

Hi Dr robert,

I've just sent you a question re my silly transexual encounter, and that I'm crying myself to sleep.

I have and will continue to keep reading the archives like it says I should on the site but I CAN'T FIND ALL THE ANSWERS that I'm looking for.

the only question I forgot to ask was that could touching the condom by 'finishing' mean that anal fluid could get through a cut or the eczema that i somethimes have on my finger (although i don't remember my finger being itchy or that i had been scratching it that day) and the condom felt dry on the outside as if there wasn't much fluid.

please please please could you post my question with a reply. I'm begging you!

as I said I promise to donate!

thanks for your time

Response from Dr. Frascino


I've combined your two questions.

First off, dry your tears, blow your nose and ratchet down that anxiety level, OK? Now take three big cleansing yoga breaths . . . in and out . . . go ahead. We'll wait. There, now don't you feel better? I was worried with your shedding so many tears that:

1. you'd get dehydrated and start to look like wrinkled Rumsfelt or

2. your teardrops would land on the computer and short circuit your whole system.

Now let's proceed to your questions:

Your two-minute sex-perience with the tranny lady-boy was protected, and the condom did not fail. Therefore your overall HIV risk is negligible to nonexistent, even if you had a small genital wart at the base of your Mr. Happy. Yes, there is such a thing as anal secretions and yes, they can contain HIV; however, your chance of a significant exposure remains so remote as to make your risk of HIV infection essentially nonexistent.

Regarding your "symptoms," they are neither suggestive of nor worrisome for HIV ARS or HIV disease. I do not believe you have lupus, nor is your "small purply dot" a "bad sign."

Finally, touching your condom (which felt dry) to "finish" is not an HIV risk, even with your history of eczema.

If you remain worried, I would suggest:

1. Psychological counseling to help curb your irrational HIV fears and generalized anxiety/depression.

2. Getting a single HIV test at the three-month mark to put your fears permanently to rest. I have absolutely no doubt the results will be negative. And any tears you shed when you see the result will be tears of joy!

Thank you for your willingness to make a donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. Donation information can be found the on the foundation's Web site at In return, I'll send you my good-luck karma that, as I very strongly suspect, your fears are completely unwarranted.

One last suggestion would be to have your genital wart treated so that you will not have to endure such concerns in the future and to decrease the risk you might spread that condition to your sex partners.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

Infection from Contaminated Gloves

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