Want to go on with my life but cannot
Jul 19, 2006
Dear Dr Bob, thank you very much for the excellent work you do here. You are a fantastic person! It helped me a lot to cope with my situation better. I also have read through the webpage of your foundation and got more information about you and your work. Can only recommend to support this. Such an important contribution to help and encourage. As I could see that donation is easily done by credit card it is already on the way from Asia to CA. (Not my credit card, but the money :-)) Well I tried already to ask my question(s) earlier, but got no response, as I think that you think, well another ww... However for me it is crucial to get your woo hoo permission or recommendation what to do if not as you are a true expert. My situation: Mid September 2005 after a party I was drunk and went to a pick up place and ended up with a transsexual in bed. I used two condoms to be extra sure. That was foolish as I know now. And it happened: At one stage the condoms slipped away. However I realized when I pulled my penis out (I did only the active part), only the tip was covered. I tried to fix it, but then they totally slipped of. He/She put it on again. And here is my first question: Is it possible that it is done the other way round? Mean what was formerly outside is now inside. I tried later several times, but found it was not very likely. I did not know whether there was a breakage, but I read that it could easily happen if you put on two condoms together. From the next morning onwards I was afraid of having contracted HIV. And also some symptoms came along with the time, e.g: sore throat, reddish broad rush on the chest, muscle pain, white blisters on my lip and some mouth ulcers and an overall feeling of discomfort and sickness. There was no fever. I tested for HIV in total 8 times at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks out to 7 1/2 months. All came back negative (Elisa). After three months I was so relieved and happy and enjoyed a wonderful holiday over Christmas with my wife. After the holiday I got a stomach infection with diarrhea that lasted for some days. The diarrhea disappeared but the stomach ache remained for weeks after, together with muscle aches. My fears of HIV came back. Of course I have also read about longer timespans for seroconversion. Next was a throat infecton, for no obvious reason, very painful with difficulties to swallow. Two weeks before then ( I thought then) final 6 months test I got swollen gums that were bleeding and a wisdom tooth was very painful. With antibiotics this normalised after a week. Then came the 6 months test back negative. I was very happy, but only for one day, because the gum swelling came back at the same place. The root of the wisdom tooth was totally infected and it was extracted. I had bleeding from that for more than one week. This again worried me.(No swelling anymore) I have had additional symptoms coming step by step like muscle aches, burning and tingling hands and feet, sometimes up to day my right leg feels a bit numb, esp. after doing some sports, some rash, psioriasis also appeared.I decided to go to see a pychiatrist in addition to my doctor, who diagnosed an obsessional fear and put me on Seroxat and Xanax. Then I went to take a test at 7 1/2 months in my home country in Europa (actually I live in Asia) at my family's doctor. After the negative result, he assured me, like my doctor in Asia, that is now definitive and I must stop worry. Instead the symptoms continued. In addition I still feel some numbness in my right leg which come and go. I have a white coated tongue with some reddish areas. My doctor said it is a geographical tongue. I think it might be also one of the reddish fungus that you can get with HIV in the mouth. (forgot the name).Sometimes in the morning I have a bit blood in the saliva when I spit out. This disappears after the second or third spit and doesn't come back during the day. Still have unspecific rush and my skin is getting dryer, especially arms and legs. The skin on the palms of my hands is peeling quite strongly.I have digestion every two to three days with loads of sh.. coming out. More than usual. First very hard and the latter part softish. Last week my doctor discovered some genital warts in the perianal area and we started treatment with icing immediatedly. So, sorry for being so specific and took your time, but I wanted to present all the facts (might have forgotten one or ...) My questions: Do you think the encounter put me on the high risk for unprotected anal sex (no ejaculation)? Is the probability that condoms break when you put them on together so high as sometimes described in the web? Were the ongoing symptoms worrysome for an HIV infection, that I should see an HIV specialist? Are genital warts a symptom of HIV or are they coming from a different infection? What is the connection to HIV? Could I get the warts from my encounter, where I did not have penetrative anal sex? The sex worker came from Tahiland. Does this put me on a risk to acquire any exotic strain that cannot be discovered by modern HIV tests?
Thank you very much for your patience with me and an answer. It would really help me either to move on (woo-hoo) or to take the necessary next steps (e.g. test at the 1 year mark that is still recommended in some websites). I will move back to Europe in 6 weeks and would like to do that with a clear mind.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Thanks for your kind comments and donation!
Regarding your questions:
1. I, of course, have no way of determining if he/she put the condom on inside out or not. Unfortunately I'm not clairvoyant!
2. I agree "double bagging" is a bad idea; however, I doubt there was condom breakage as this is not a subtle occurrence! A break would have been very obvious.
3. Eight negative HIV tests out to 7.5 months are definitive, conclusive and excessive. The recurrence of your HIV fears is unwarranted! A negative test trumps all symptoms each and every time.
4. Genital warts are caused by HPV (human papilloma virus). They can be spread by skin-to-skin contact. You can read more about them and HPV in the archives.
5. That your sex worker was Thai does not invalidate your HIV test results.
Bottom line: HIV is not your problem. No way. No how! (WOO-HOO!) My advice now is that you continue with your treatment for anal warts and "obsessional fear."
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