|Did this Balloon Burst my Sanity
Jul 18, 2006
Hi Dr. Bob,
This is a strange one feel free to make a funny comment. The scary thing is that it did scare me a lot. We recently held a party for some staff one of the members who was responsible for blowing up the balloons is a bit on the let's just say "risky" side. To make a long story short at the end of the party during the cleanup I popped some of the balloons to throw them out, I noticed however when I popped one of the balloons some what felt like spit splashed back in my face. I know HIV does not live long in the environment but what about when sealed in a balloon? I mean it should not have been exposed to Oxygen correct?
Can you please respond back, this has gotten me really nervous for some bizarre reason. Thank You so much for all your wondefull work, oh and just curious are you a Simpson's fan...just have to know because I love that show.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Northwest Man,
To get an accurate assessment of your HIV risk, you'll need to provide me with the results of the balloon-o-viro-mometer. Here's what you do. Find a dude who is "a bit on the let's say risky side" and have him blow up several balloons, but make sure he's not wearing a condom. Then stick your face and the toxic balloon into the balloon-o-viro-mometer and pop it. The machine will measure ambient room temperature, humidity and velocity of the spit goobers striking your face. I'll then need to know how much makeup you were wearing at the time and if any of it was Mary Kay brand. Once you submit this info, I'll run it through my computer and it will spit out (oh sorry, poor choice of verbs) . . . it will provide me with a statistical estimate of your HIV risk. OK?
Bye for now.
Oh yeah and, um, Homer rules!
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