Hello Doctor,

I am in a magnetic relationship with a pos person. We do not practice anal sex but we do frottage. He as the one on top. He likes to rub his penis against my rectum (But never, ever goes in of course). I am nervous as, to be honest, I shave my rectum and was wondering if this is a risk? I know precum can contain the virus and he does rub his penis against my rectum - can precum get inside the anus that way? Other than that, we have safe oral with a condom and rimming with a dental dam. But, frottage is so important to us and the thought of adding a condom to the mix would take away from the excitement - since we would like some "fun" without regret.

I hope we make it to 13 years like you and Steve!

Hi Magnetic-Guy,

Generally speaking, frottage is not considered a risk for HIV transmission. Of course, there can always be extenuating circumstances. For instance, if you cut yourself during your "man-scaping" (shaving, etc.) and the friction of your mattress mambo opens up the cut just as your partner pops his cork, and if he has a high viral load and the spunk gets massaged into the open cut, there would be a theoretical risk of transmission. However, the chance something like this would actually occur is remote at best. My advice is to be careful shaving; (How the hell do you see what you're doing back there anyway? You must be a Cirque du Soleil contortionist . . . or should that be Cirque du So-Gay contortionist?) use lots of lube and keep your partner's viral load undetectable if possible. These things will further decrease any chance for HIV transmission.

If you keep the fun times fun and as worry-free as possible, you'll make it to 13 and beyond!

Stay well.

Dr. Bob